When Dylan Ratigan first came to MSNBC mornings months back, I wasn't really sure how he was going to work out and was quite critical as he baby-stepped into the 8.00AM time slot. However, as he progressed and gained a productive level of comfort, his confidence seemed to open up his natural ability to be an incredibly intelligent and effective, relatively balanced 'new-age' journalist. For those of you who haven't seen him yet, this guy is very sharp and can hold his own with just about any current player out there. Let me just say he does NOT paddycake financial-oriented interviews like I've seen with just about every other host including Wolf Blitzer, Lou Dobbs, Anderson Cooper, Sean Hannity, Bill-O, Maria Bartiromo, Jim Cramer and everyone else at CNBC and Fox News Business.
Also, say what you will about Michael Moore, but comparing him to the liberal version of Ann Coulter is highly inaccurate and is due to an ego-oriented ad hominem attack of the left. I'm not going to turn this post into a defense of Michael Moore; however, some of the flack he is getting about his current movie is that he is preaching against capitalism, but making millions off of this and all of his other endeavours. Well, for those of you who are too ego-centric to form your own objective opinions, he is actually much in favor of capitalism, but a highly regulated consumer protected version of said system.
This is a great video articulating the absurdity of the current Wall Street bonuses and general issues with our heavily UN-regulated economic system that helped put us into our current place (and what little has been done to change this broken system).
I particularly enjoy Ratigan's explanation of "Capitalism in its best form," at the 4:08 mark.
I love you
Monday, October 19, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
It Depends What The Definition of Is, Is...
(http://www.disparatethought.blogspot.com/ is back for a few posts)
Define Work. In terms of physics, generally speaking, energy is the ability to do work. Therefore, you could say work is the input of energy to do something useful. Define useful... Ugh. However, if we transfer the idea of 'work' or 'what works' to my rudimentary knowledge of economics, we come up with an infinite number of theories. We'll take two absolutist theories for sake of time. Laissez-Faire-Capitalist-Masturbators suggest that pure Capitalism is a self-correcting system that rewards effort, innovation and intellect. It is also very capable of being an anti-humanist system that rewards misinformation, a disregard for individuals and questionable ethical practices.
On the other side we have nonsensical nearsighted proponents of Socialism, which doesn't reward anyone and stagnates technological innovation and is capable of bogging down quality of life.
Under the Bush administration, the US economic system became more socialist than Hugo Chavez's Venezuala (Funny how I didn't hear any Tea Baggers' ball-stuffed mouths then). Under the Obama administration, we did this more times over bailing out derivative traders (oh but the Ball Mouthers got so panty-twisted when the autos got some tax-payer cash).
We are only as strong as our weakest link. It is very well-documented that the gap between social classes continues to rise. The inherent problem when a very small percentage of the population controls a very high percentage of the population's wealth is that the wealthy have easier access to the control and manipulation of information. Lobbyists, campaign contributions, radio stations and the subtle bending of information towards one's cause seems to be perpetuating the growth and sustainability of the wealthy few.
Conservatives seem to want their cake and eat it too. Particularly more hypocritical and unpragmatic are libertarians. Has anyone ever heard of the Tragedy of the Commons. Bible-thumping missionary-sex'n fornicators are breeding the intellect and rationality out of the rest of us. Get this through all of your govn't phobic minds: FINITE RESOURCES + EXPONENTIAL POPULATION GROWTH does NOT equal PROSPEROUS SUSTAINABILITY. At some point we have to step in as a group and look out for the greater good of the populous over a longer time line. I suggest we all get together in a big group and talk about some ideas. Then, we should pick some individuals who have really good ideas and single them out. These individuals can then take turns talking and the group can then get together and take turns saying who they think has the best idea, then that person can lead the rest of the group. Hmm... sounds a lot like something we have now.
Government is not the answer, but remember this too often glanced over fact: we are the government. However, government is ultimately not the answer and the burden lies on personal responsibility. Remember though we are only as strong as our weakest links and as the socio-economic gap continues to rise, our weak links continue to grow. I'm telling you know, the sign of a more advanced society is a social-oriented society with the benefits of capitalism. Decades from now, barring any major global catastrophe, we WILL have a heavily regulated capitalist society with socialist tones intertwined that are heavily oriented towards education and health as intrinsic rights of EVERY U.S. citizen.
We are all goign to have to give up some freedoms for the greater good. Instead of having eighteen kids like that fucking Christ-humping TLC family, maybe it might be a good idea to limit your procreating to three kids. Is that really that bad? My god. Too many adults in our population act like children when they can't have something.
... Ugh.. my disparate rantings have to end for the day and I'm sure there are more punctures in the above content then the Houston 500, but you get the jiz (ha). I'll end on two frightingly pragmatic and intellegent quotes.
"Private capital tends to become concentrated in [a] few hands, partly because of competition among the capitalists, and partly because technological development and the increasing division of labor encourage the formation of larger units of production at the expense of the smaller ones."
"The result of these developments is an oligarchy of private capital the enormous power of which cannot be effectively checked even by a democratically organized political society. This is true since the members of legislative bodies are selected by political parties, largely financed or otherwise influenced by private capitalists who, for all practical purposes, separate the electorate from the legislature. The consequence is that the representatives of the people do not in fact sufficiently protect the interests of the underprivileged sections of the population. Moreover, under existing conditions, private capitalists privately control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information (press, radio, education). It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed most cases impossible for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights." Albert Enstein
"Corporations are ubiquitous parts of our lives, and those that own and run them want them to remain that way. We eat corporate food. We buy corporate clothes. We drive corporate cars. We buy our fuel from corporations. We borrow from, invest our retirement savings with, and take out our college loans with corporations and corporate banks. We are entertained, informed, and bombarded with advertisements by corporations. Many of us work for corporations. There are few aspects of life left that have not been taken over by corporations, from mail delivery to public utilities to our for-profit health-care system. These corporations have no loyalty to the country or workers. Our impoverishment feeds their profits. And profits, for corporations are all that count." Chris Hedges
Define Work. In terms of physics, generally speaking, energy is the ability to do work. Therefore, you could say work is the input of energy to do something useful. Define useful... Ugh. However, if we transfer the idea of 'work' or 'what works' to my rudimentary knowledge of economics, we come up with an infinite number of theories. We'll take two absolutist theories for sake of time. Laissez-Faire-Capitalist-Masturbators suggest that pure Capitalism is a self-correcting system that rewards effort, innovation and intellect. It is also very capable of being an anti-humanist system that rewards misinformation, a disregard for individuals and questionable ethical practices.
On the other side we have nonsensical nearsighted proponents of Socialism, which doesn't reward anyone and stagnates technological innovation and is capable of bogging down quality of life.
Under the Bush administration, the US economic system became more socialist than Hugo Chavez's Venezuala (Funny how I didn't hear any Tea Baggers' ball-stuffed mouths then). Under the Obama administration, we did this more times over bailing out derivative traders (oh but the Ball Mouthers got so panty-twisted when the autos got some tax-payer cash).
We are only as strong as our weakest link. It is very well-documented that the gap between social classes continues to rise. The inherent problem when a very small percentage of the population controls a very high percentage of the population's wealth is that the wealthy have easier access to the control and manipulation of information. Lobbyists, campaign contributions, radio stations and the subtle bending of information towards one's cause seems to be perpetuating the growth and sustainability of the wealthy few.
Conservatives seem to want their cake and eat it too. Particularly more hypocritical and unpragmatic are libertarians. Has anyone ever heard of the Tragedy of the Commons. Bible-thumping missionary-sex'n fornicators are breeding the intellect and rationality out of the rest of us. Get this through all of your govn't phobic minds: FINITE RESOURCES + EXPONENTIAL POPULATION GROWTH does NOT equal PROSPEROUS SUSTAINABILITY. At some point we have to step in as a group and look out for the greater good of the populous over a longer time line. I suggest we all get together in a big group and talk about some ideas. Then, we should pick some individuals who have really good ideas and single them out. These individuals can then take turns talking and the group can then get together and take turns saying who they think has the best idea, then that person can lead the rest of the group. Hmm... sounds a lot like something we have now.
Government is not the answer, but remember this too often glanced over fact: we are the government. However, government is ultimately not the answer and the burden lies on personal responsibility. Remember though we are only as strong as our weakest links and as the socio-economic gap continues to rise, our weak links continue to grow. I'm telling you know, the sign of a more advanced society is a social-oriented society with the benefits of capitalism. Decades from now, barring any major global catastrophe, we WILL have a heavily regulated capitalist society with socialist tones intertwined that are heavily oriented towards education and health as intrinsic rights of EVERY U.S. citizen.
We are all goign to have to give up some freedoms for the greater good. Instead of having eighteen kids like that fucking Christ-humping TLC family, maybe it might be a good idea to limit your procreating to three kids. Is that really that bad? My god. Too many adults in our population act like children when they can't have something.
... Ugh.. my disparate rantings have to end for the day and I'm sure there are more punctures in the above content then the Houston 500, but you get the jiz (ha). I'll end on two frightingly pragmatic and intellegent quotes.
"Private capital tends to become concentrated in [a] few hands, partly because of competition among the capitalists, and partly because technological development and the increasing division of labor encourage the formation of larger units of production at the expense of the smaller ones."
"The result of these developments is an oligarchy of private capital the enormous power of which cannot be effectively checked even by a democratically organized political society. This is true since the members of legislative bodies are selected by political parties, largely financed or otherwise influenced by private capitalists who, for all practical purposes, separate the electorate from the legislature. The consequence is that the representatives of the people do not in fact sufficiently protect the interests of the underprivileged sections of the population. Moreover, under existing conditions, private capitalists privately control, directly or indirectly, the main sources of information (press, radio, education). It is thus extremely difficult, and indeed most cases impossible for the individual citizen to come to objective conclusions and to make intelligent use of his political rights." Albert Enstein
"Corporations are ubiquitous parts of our lives, and those that own and run them want them to remain that way. We eat corporate food. We buy corporate clothes. We drive corporate cars. We buy our fuel from corporations. We borrow from, invest our retirement savings with, and take out our college loans with corporations and corporate banks. We are entertained, informed, and bombarded with advertisements by corporations. Many of us work for corporations. There are few aspects of life left that have not been taken over by corporations, from mail delivery to public utilities to our for-profit health-care system. These corporations have no loyalty to the country or workers. Our impoverishment feeds their profits. And profits, for corporations are all that count." Chris Hedges
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Electricity for Dummies
As an Environmental Scientist (I use the term 'Scientist' quite liberally since I'm only a 'Scientist' in the for-profit consulting sense and not the more admirable for-research sense) who has an interdisciplinary degree covering such subjects as meteorology, geology, hydrology, agronomy, astronomy and even a bit of business, I often times lose touch of certain concepts such as how electricity works. So when I discovered a way to splice furthering my education with psychedelic drug use, I jumped all over it...
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Alternative Medicine: Better Take Your Gullibex
Several months back I found myself having a difficult time dealing with some issues and found myself at a desperate end. I even went as far as making an acupuncture appointment despite having no practical knowledge of acupuncture as a therapy of any type or having read any credible peer-reviewed studies. Even though I never followed through with the appointment, this provides a represenative example of capitalistic opportunities through human desperation. I actually just googled acupuncture studies and came across this WaPo article summarizing a study done by the U of Maryland. Accupuncture has anectdotally demonstrated millions of times through the ages its ability to relieve physical symptoms, but guess what?!
1)The mind is a powerful apparatus
2)There is something to the power of positive thought
3)Many people get to positive thought by blind faith in false claims
I'll never forget what my dad told me regarding these magnetic bracelets he wears for his arthritis. "Jake, I don't care if there is proof that magnets relieve pain or if it's just the placebo effect. Frankly, all I'm concerned with is that it works, and it does." I've always said that you have to do what works for you. No one should ever tell a cancer patient that the psychic energy they are receiving from their "healer" is as analogously bogus as bigfoot. However, we should all be aware of charlatans and the damaging illogical fallacies of faith.
What we SHOULD be doing is putting our energies into understanding that:
*THere is no easy way out (wasn't that a song in Rocky montage?)
*Ignorance could be beneficial to your health, but these short-lived benefits far under-weigh the costs to your intellectual development and hence, the perpetuation of an enlightened human race. Oh, as a quick aside, did you know that intelligence has a very proven positive correlation with longevity? Oh oh... and... did you know there is a very concrete negative correlation between intelligence and religiosity? Hmmm...?
Anyway, to give credit where credit is due. One of my favorite blogs is Bad Astronomy, written by Phil Plait, an astronomer and an author. His post on alt medicine, which can be found at the above link, is what motivated my expoundiation. I found two of his quotes particularly pragmatic, compelling and eloquent, which sums this whole mess up better than I ever could.
"A lot of people comment on my blog when I talk about this stuff and call me closed-minded, which makes me chuckle ironically, since most of these people are so anti-science their minds are clamped tight. And in fact I want to test these techniques to separate what works from what doesn’t. "
"My point: when the tests are done, and the technique is shown not to work as promised or even at all, then into the trash bin it goes. That’s science. That’s reality."
"Studies in animals and humans have shown that traditional Chinese
acupuncture releases natural opium-like pain relievers called endorphins, as
well as other chemical messengers, in the brain, spinal cord and pituitary
gland."
HA! Guess where else you can achieve this effect. Um... by cutting yourself or inflicting localized trauma to your body by, oh let's say, tattoos. That is probably why so many people end up getting inked subsequent times.
Alt-therapy is a mutli-billion dollar/year industry, yet the majority of claims are not substantiated by any type of study whatsoever. And, in fact, many studies clearly counter such claims or at least illustrate effects of such therapies as no more efficacious than a placebo. This means that:
1)The mind is a powerful apparatus
2)There is something to the power of positive thought
3)Many people get to positive thought by blind faith in false claims
I'll never forget what my dad told me regarding these magnetic bracelets he wears for his arthritis. "Jake, I don't care if there is proof that magnets relieve pain or if it's just the placebo effect. Frankly, all I'm concerned with is that it works, and it does." I've always said that you have to do what works for you. No one should ever tell a cancer patient that the psychic energy they are receiving from their "healer" is as analogously bogus as bigfoot. However, we should all be aware of charlatans and the damaging illogical fallacies of faith.
What we SHOULD be doing is putting our energies into understanding that:
*THere is no easy way out (wasn't that a song in Rocky montage?)
*Ignorance could be beneficial to your health, but these short-lived benefits far under-weigh the costs to your intellectual development and hence, the perpetuation of an enlightened human race. Oh, as a quick aside, did you know that intelligence has a very proven positive correlation with longevity? Oh oh... and... did you know there is a very concrete negative correlation between intelligence and religiosity? Hmmm...?
Anyway, to give credit where credit is due. One of my favorite blogs is Bad Astronomy, written by Phil Plait, an astronomer and an author. His post on alt medicine, which can be found at the above link, is what motivated my expoundiation. I found two of his quotes particularly pragmatic, compelling and eloquent, which sums this whole mess up better than I ever could.
"A lot of people comment on my blog when I talk about this stuff and call me closed-minded, which makes me chuckle ironically, since most of these people are so anti-science their minds are clamped tight. And in fact I want to test these techniques to separate what works from what doesn’t. "
"My point: when the tests are done, and the technique is shown not to work as promised or even at all, then into the trash bin it goes. That’s science. That’s reality."
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Kitty Vindication
I've had quite the influx of complaints at the anticlimactory nature of my last kitten video. I don't know about you, but I laughed like hell at this new one........
... I think something's wrong with me..
... I think something's wrong with me..
American Terrorist Logic
I've determined that inherent in an open-minded, easy-going philosophy on life is not an inability, but rather an unwillingness to form an opinionated lifestyle. This is because at the crux of open-mindedness is an admission to yourself that regardless of the views and opinions you create, there is always a chance that the very opposite is true. I say 'opposite' because the laws of relativity invoke the transitory and illusory nature of 'right and wrong.'
Despite what the theists - mono or poly - say, there is no Absolute Truth for which our decision making has a reference point. More interestingly, and something I would really like to expound on in later posts, is my refutation that morality does not stem from this supposed Absolute Truth that was inserted into each and every one of us prior to birth as a DIVINE SUPPOSITORY; rather, is a byproduct of an evolutionary survival mechanism within a societal matrix. Basically what I propose is that morality started as a cro magnon quid-pro-quo of sorts. It's the same principal we see in schools of fish or herds of mammals. In order to promote survival, the individual - even at the most basic and primitive level - identifies that their chances lie within the group. Therefore, the individual is only as strong and safe as the whole of the group. For sake of time, the conclusion I draw is that after several millenia of evolution, what some see as morality from a God is actually a physiologically conditioned sense of right and wrong in order to strengthen the group in order to preserve the individual.
.......................................
Until Chicago begins to thaw and I buy my first road bike, my north-side/south-side cross-town commute will continue in my truck (28 mpg's so get off my back hippies). Sometimes I take Lakeshore Drive, especially when we have temperate weather because nothing beats the coastal illusion and energetically dense sky line. Other times I'll just hop on the loop. Independent of route is the comfort and joy I feel during the transition of bitter cold to the warmth of my cab with the vital assistance of my Silk'd up English Breakfast tea and talk radio. Since I absolutely cannot stand music radio, I have adopted four talk radio stations. I begin with 820 AM Progressive Talk to get a boost from my fellow compassionate, social-oriented libs. During commercials I'll switch to AM 560 to get an idea of the conservative talking points for the day. When I get tired of politics I'll go to NPR, but when I get tired of hearing about the biography of the first librarian or genocide in Africa, I'll resort to WGN 720 and listen to Kathy and Judy talk about soccer mom drama.
It's really intriguing to andectdotally identify the differences between progressives and conservatives (P's and C's) on the radio. My observations are as follows:
-While rates of Christianity among both groups parallel at high levels, C's tend to adopt more of a literal interpretation of biblical text that leads back to my earlier accusation regarding Absolute Truth and morality. P's tend to follow the teachings of Jesus (as I know him; a fictional being who epitomized compassion and socialism and liberalism) much more closely. P's are spiritual in their religion where as C's lack the right-brain ability to introspectively gain empathy.
-C's are much more narrow-minded (probably a result of their skewed theocratic following), much more likely to judge others and much more stubborn. P's are tolerant of differences and view all human beings of equal worth.
-C's tend to be self-centered and hold grudges. P's are socially generous. C's are mine mine mine.
-P's believe everyone should have an even playing field prior to developing a capitalist identity. C's believe inborn circumstance is tough-luck.
Perhaps the most startling and sad difference, which leads into the main point of this post, is that conservatives spew unadulterated hegemony.
The other morning I was listening to the conservative John & Cisco on AM 560 interviewing Bill Ayers, the media declared 'domestic terrorist' whom Republicans tried to smear Obama's presidential campaign with a supposed association. Regardless of Bill Ayers' political and philosophical ideals, his responses in this interview were eloquent, intelligent, compassionate and humble. However, the comment he made that motivated this blog was perhaps the single most prevalent saying I have ever heard, at least in terms of national identity.
Listen to the interview and decide for yourself:
Bill Ayers Interview on Chicago Conservative Radio
I'll end on the following:
"I love the ideals (of our country), and we should live up to them. The difference between a Patriot and a Nationalist is a Patriot says let's live up to the ideals of this great country. A Nationalist says our country is great no matter what it does." - Bill Ayers
Despite what the theists - mono or poly - say, there is no Absolute Truth for which our decision making has a reference point. More interestingly, and something I would really like to expound on in later posts, is my refutation that morality does not stem from this supposed Absolute Truth that was inserted into each and every one of us prior to birth as a DIVINE SUPPOSITORY; rather, is a byproduct of an evolutionary survival mechanism within a societal matrix. Basically what I propose is that morality started as a cro magnon quid-pro-quo of sorts. It's the same principal we see in schools of fish or herds of mammals. In order to promote survival, the individual - even at the most basic and primitive level - identifies that their chances lie within the group. Therefore, the individual is only as strong and safe as the whole of the group. For sake of time, the conclusion I draw is that after several millenia of evolution, what some see as morality from a God is actually a physiologically conditioned sense of right and wrong in order to strengthen the group in order to preserve the individual.
.......................................
Until Chicago begins to thaw and I buy my first road bike, my north-side/south-side cross-town commute will continue in my truck (28 mpg's so get off my back hippies). Sometimes I take Lakeshore Drive, especially when we have temperate weather because nothing beats the coastal illusion and energetically dense sky line. Other times I'll just hop on the loop. Independent of route is the comfort and joy I feel during the transition of bitter cold to the warmth of my cab with the vital assistance of my Silk'd up English Breakfast tea and talk radio. Since I absolutely cannot stand music radio, I have adopted four talk radio stations. I begin with 820 AM Progressive Talk to get a boost from my fellow compassionate, social-oriented libs. During commercials I'll switch to AM 560 to get an idea of the conservative talking points for the day. When I get tired of politics I'll go to NPR, but when I get tired of hearing about the biography of the first librarian or genocide in Africa, I'll resort to WGN 720 and listen to Kathy and Judy talk about soccer mom drama.
It's really intriguing to andectdotally identify the differences between progressives and conservatives (P's and C's) on the radio. My observations are as follows:
-While rates of Christianity among both groups parallel at high levels, C's tend to adopt more of a literal interpretation of biblical text that leads back to my earlier accusation regarding Absolute Truth and morality. P's tend to follow the teachings of Jesus (as I know him; a fictional being who epitomized compassion and socialism and liberalism) much more closely. P's are spiritual in their religion where as C's lack the right-brain ability to introspectively gain empathy.
-C's are much more narrow-minded (probably a result of their skewed theocratic following), much more likely to judge others and much more stubborn. P's are tolerant of differences and view all human beings of equal worth.
-C's tend to be self-centered and hold grudges. P's are socially generous. C's are mine mine mine.
-P's believe everyone should have an even playing field prior to developing a capitalist identity. C's believe inborn circumstance is tough-luck.
Perhaps the most startling and sad difference, which leads into the main point of this post, is that conservatives spew unadulterated hegemony.
The other morning I was listening to the conservative John & Cisco on AM 560 interviewing Bill Ayers, the media declared 'domestic terrorist' whom Republicans tried to smear Obama's presidential campaign with a supposed association. Regardless of Bill Ayers' political and philosophical ideals, his responses in this interview were eloquent, intelligent, compassionate and humble. However, the comment he made that motivated this blog was perhaps the single most prevalent saying I have ever heard, at least in terms of national identity.
Listen to the interview and decide for yourself:
Bill Ayers Interview on Chicago Conservative Radio
I'll end on the following:
"I love the ideals (of our country), and we should live up to them. The difference between a Patriot and a Nationalist is a Patriot says let's live up to the ideals of this great country. A Nationalist says our country is great no matter what it does." - Bill Ayers
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Dry Sphincter Heaves
So Ketchup Whore, now known as (nka) KW, nka kDub and I decided to delve into the ancient culinary arts of the country surrounded by "The Ring of Fire." For you ignorant fucks who think that's a country surrounded by a Johnny Cash song, it's not. Before I tell you the results of our creative and daring escapade, let me take this moment to foreshadow through a previous publication:
Sunday, July 15, 2007 (London, UK)
First Round (a)
Sunday, July 15, 2007 (London, UK)
Out of Commission
Tragedy has struck my life. My one true love has betrayed me. She was so lean, bright and beautiful. Her personality was so vibrant, spicy when she wanted to be, yet laid back and soothing when my feelings called for it. Above all else, her sensuality was an irresistible gift from an erotic god, a god who blessed my love with a kiss so salty it stung my loins. My erotic god...*sniff*....has forsaken me. I asked for absolutely nothing in return and loved her with every ounce of my palate. Despite my unwavering devotion, she came back and bit me in the ass. Seriously, almost literally. My almost daily SUSHI fix which I loved dearly, gave me Gastroenteritis. More specifically Salmonella. More specifically severe food poisoning. I'm not going to get into details, but it involves the most painful stomach cramps you can imagine and bowel movements so disturbing you'd think there was a rodent in my intestines chewing away. Oh shit (no pun intended), umm..the whole rodent in my intestines wasn't like a Freudian slip or anything. Ok nevermind. I finally had to venture in pain to the hospital where I was treated by young, beautiful British doctor. My boyhood fantasies of a pornographic doctor's office were dashed when I had to describe my bloody stools...amongst other things. To make a long story only moderately long, I have Salmonella, was prescribed antibiotics and three different painkillers that almost make the experience worth the pain. I'm scared to death to eat the only food that really makes me happy and I'm going to end up losing more than a week experiencing this wonderful city. Therefore, at the VERY LEAST, I will be home a week later now. If anyone is wondering why I took time blogging this story, well I've spent the last several days either reading in severe pain or reading in moderate pain. I'm bored. Well I hope everyone else is doing better than I am! Bye Luvs
ps-my blood test indicated I have perfect liver function. Drink too much my ass!
...the ambiance was a cocoon of warmth floating through a dimension void of time and space. There were no consequences of actions undertaken adjacent to our newly created reality. A therapeutic meditation in color and texture that developed an enlightened understanding of Presence, which led to the transcendence of past experience and future anxiety. An olfactory-induced conscious-coma was conceived from volatilizing organic molecules hitchhiking on internal trade winds; a psychedelic sense of invisible movement nudged from a temperature differential created by a life-saving, ass-warming radiator. This organic movement was perhaps substantiated from the tangibly ethereal motions of our mind-expanding byproduct.
No one could have ever have guessed what would happen next.
Come on.. who would have thunk that preparing a meal in this manner could have resulted in any negative consequences:
Come on.. who would have thunk that preparing a meal in this manner could have resulted in any negative consequences:
The following series of images is an illustrated framing of the tragic circumstances that continue to haunt us to this day:
Reverse Spooning Uh-oh. What ever is that feeling?
First Round (a) First Round (b)
Second Round (a)
Second Round (b)
Final Round. Butt Heave Power
Fucking Spent
Second Round (a)
Second Round (b)
Final Round. Butt Heave Power
Fucking Spent
If you could not already determine from the above photographic series that I had acute gastroenteritis, well, naked sushi + socio-economic debate+intense spanking=DRY SPHINCTER HEAVES*
*Originally coined by kDub during her delayed onset gastroenteritis, "Dry Butt Heaves," and later paraphrased by me.
The physiological effects of food poisoning are commonly misunderstood and it is my duty (haha) to educate my readers. Here's how it goes down...or out...
The citizens in the colon are bacteria -- compassionate, free-thinkers granted permission to live and work and raise their families in your large intestine in a free and open society. They're good, honest, educated people. But sometimes bad bacteria, or Catholics, manage to sneak into your stomach, perhaps hitching a ride on ignorance (or in sushi). The Catholics can prevent the good bacteria from doing the job. They will continue to inundate your colon with ignorance, bigotry and harmful pseudoscience. Unfortunately at this point, the colon can only rid itself of ignorance by flushing everything. It fills itself full of fluid to flush everything out -- bad bacteria, good bacteria, and anything else that might be in the colon, like broken glass. Fucking gross Nick. Accounting writes this off as a loss: diarrhea.
Often times during gastroenteritis, the colon cannot recognize when it is void of 'Catholics,' and it continues to attempt to void itself of ignorance. When this occurs, you can experience painful dry-butt-heaves, or as the medical world dictates, Tenesmus. Tenesmus is characterized by a sensation of needing to pass stool, accompanied by pain, cramping, and straining. Despite straining, little stool is passed (Wiki).
We have to ask ourselves, "Was the therapeutic, meditative, psychedelic evening worth it?"
Um... fuck yes.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Michele Bachman is a Cunt
...probably not the most eloquent talking point I ever conjured, but that's how strongly I feel.
She recently told Fox News in a concerned tone that, "We are running out of rich people in this country," and on the stimulus package, "These are morbidly obese levels of spending." Eloquent Michele. For a second I felt bad about the title of this post. As an aside, the other day I was watching a session of congress where an unnamed Republic congressman was giving a refutation of the stimulus bill. His presentation was a series of visual aids illustrating, for instance, what a trillion dollars would look like if you stacked up $1 bills until you reached the sum. Another was how many times a trillion dollars would wrap around the world if you lined $1 bills end to end. This logical fallacy-laced presentation is a blatantly irreverent display of arrogance and ignorance, an insult to his constituency, the American people as a whole and most importantly, me. What a fucking douche bag. What point was he trying to make? That the funds he OK'd for the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq - ironically now over a trillion dollars - would not pile up to the moon, but a trillion dollar bailout for working class (fucking hard working, non lazy) individuals would pile to Saturn?? ...... Ugh.... I've gone cross-eyed.
Melting into my couch in the early afternoon hour, drinking diet coke and eating dark chocolate -because I still have latent experential post-menopausal conditioning - and watching MSNBC, I see a news conference/protest near the Capital building with the mission statement: NoStimulus(.com). A large group (maybe a couple hundred) of all caucasians backdropped an older Republic gentleman (assumed because they all look the same...like black people.. right conservatives?) spouting talking points about taking back our country from our supposed Stalkin-esque controlling government. "We have 400,000 thousand signatures of average Americans who do not think this bill should pass...should not pass because it is B I G G O V E R N M E N T and more frightingly, socialism!"
Ok.. anyone can hold these protests near the Capital, but this group had several US Congressional members as leaders. So this group of so-called 'avg. Americans' is helped in leadership by noneother than M I C H E L E B A C H M A N...! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!
I love this picture and here is why.. follow me here. This is a coffee cup with a picture of Michele Bachman rolled up in it -> this either says Bachman is only worthy of being rolled into a dense weapon worthy of beating a poop-happy dog, or is like coffee -> coffee is a stimulant, which in most people produces a laxative effect -> laxatives stimulate the gastrointestinal tract through an increase in rectosigmoid motor activity -> an increase in rectosigmoid motor activity results in uncomfortable, acidic, explosive and watery defecation E R G O Michele Bachman = uncomfortable, acidic, explosive and watery defecation
Remember Michele Bachman? Well she is the Minnesota Republican Congresswoman who stated on Hardball with Chris Matthews that then time presidential candidate Barack Obama and wife Michelle held anti-American views and couldn't be trusted in the White House. More absurdly and McCarthy-incarnate, she even called for the major newspapers of the country to investigate other members of Congress to "find out if they are pro-America or anti-America."
She recently told Fox News in a concerned tone that, "We are running out of rich people in this country," and on the stimulus package, "These are morbidly obese levels of spending." Eloquent Michele. For a second I felt bad about the title of this post. As an aside, the other day I was watching a session of congress where an unnamed Republic congressman was giving a refutation of the stimulus bill. His presentation was a series of visual aids illustrating, for instance, what a trillion dollars would look like if you stacked up $1 bills until you reached the sum. Another was how many times a trillion dollars would wrap around the world if you lined $1 bills end to end. This logical fallacy-laced presentation is a blatantly irreverent display of arrogance and ignorance, an insult to his constituency, the American people as a whole and most importantly, me. What a fucking douche bag. What point was he trying to make? That the funds he OK'd for the illegal invasion and occupation of Iraq - ironically now over a trillion dollars - would not pile up to the moon, but a trillion dollar bailout for working class (fucking hard working, non lazy) individuals would pile to Saturn?? ...... Ugh.... I've gone cross-eyed.
How these people gain power can only be testament to the rampant ignorance and seemingly inherent inability to experience empathy that is still roaming our country. Does it surprise anyone that she is a proponent of Intelligent Design Theory, aka Creationism? Obviously spending a trillion dollars for destroying (Republican for 'Giving Freedom') Iraq is necessary, but a trillion dollars to help out desperate middle-class, lower-class Americans is just, well, anti-American. 'God,' what a cunt.
So 400,000 average Americans have signed this petition to stop the stimulus bill.. I'm willing to bet that not one of the estimated 500,000 people who lost their jobs in January have signed this petition. I wonder what NoStimulus thinks of the current 7.2% unemployment rate. You know, had I been born with a silver spoon reamed deeply up my overly-toned sphincter, I'd sign the petition as well; good thing I wasn't. I bet Michele poops cinnamon-scented blood diamonds. Oh don't even get me started with diamonds.
Well anyway, If you currently have a job you should feel pretty blessed compared to a lot of our countrymen. Not to mention the armless children of Darfur (Jen-girl!)
My Pops has always told me that if you have enough money to take care of your basal needs and if money is your biggest worry, you really don't have any worries. So why don't we create new meanings in our life independent of an unnecessary need for social class aspirations and concentrate on concepts such as love, compassion, family, friends and all the other small stuff that makes life worth holding onto that high-velocity projectile? Trust me people, you do not require Uggs or an Armani pea coat to transcend the existential vacuum.
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Questions Posed By My Roomate?
If you moved to a planet where it was socially acceptable to shit and piss your pants, how long do you think it would take you to adjust?
What if you moved to a planet where instead of hugging or saying hi, people fucked?
What if you moved to a planet where instead of hugging or saying hi, people fucked?
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Blog Wars: Fighting Jaundiced Journalism
For those of you who don't know, my roommate shot me an unprovoked request to start a blog war, so I find a quite ironic that when I sent the first attack, I have to hear (see on his shitty blog) his irrational bitching, out-of-context attacks and blatant yellow journalism.
Typically, I don't respond to such unqualified statements regardless of accusatory severity, but this is a special case. I'm relatively new to the blogosphere and I deem it vital to clear my name this one time to send a message to my readers that I will not back down to Ken Ham and Rush Limbaugh wannabes.
Last night my roommate raised a comment and a question for his alter ego, Fartpennies, who I will refer to as Penny from here on out - Canadian penny nonetheless undergoing severe inflation - since that is the relative monetary value of his thoughts. "Jake," Nick said probably because Penny is too much of a pussy to address me in person, "People read my blog because it's fun and makes them happy." The implication is implied. Sorry Penny, if you want a pattycake, cookycutter blog about arts and crafts or celebrities or other reality distracting supplements, go masturbate to BillboardJen or CupofJo or your own Vomit.
I write for myself and if you actually read my blog, you'd know I explicitly stated this in prior posts. I'm not sorry I write about deep, unpleasant topics (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) that touch on subject matter that most people want to avoid because they'd rather live in a sense of ignorance-is-bliss denial.
Penny followed his comment with the following question: "So you aren't going to respond?" The implication is implied. "Sorry [Penny]." "I'm not a fucking pussy Democrat afraid to throw a little heat. I'm a fucking registered Independent, which means I don't play by whatever rules you live by."
Last night my roommate raised a comment and a question for his alter ego, Fartpennies, who I will refer to as Penny from here on out - Canadian penny nonetheless undergoing severe inflation - since that is the relative monetary value of his thoughts. "Jake," Nick said probably because Penny is too much of a pussy to address me in person, "People read my blog because it's fun and makes them happy." The implication is implied. Sorry Penny, if you want a pattycake, cookycutter blog about arts and crafts or celebrities or other reality distracting supplements, go masturbate to BillboardJen or CupofJo or your own Vomit.
I write for myself and if you actually read my blog, you'd know I explicitly stated this in prior posts. I'm not sorry I write about deep, unpleasant topics (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) that touch on subject matter that most people want to avoid because they'd rather live in a sense of ignorance-is-bliss denial.
Penny followed his comment with the following question: "So you aren't going to respond?" The implication is implied. "Sorry [Penny]." "I'm not a fucking pussy Democrat afraid to throw a little heat. I'm a fucking registered Independent, which means I don't play by whatever rules you live by."
I'm going to arrange my rebuttal in three parts:
#)A verbatim accusation from Penny's blog
Truth) My refutation to the accusation
Duh) State an objectively identified hypocrisy relevant to the accusation
#)A verbatim accusation from Penny's blog
Truth) My refutation to the accusation
Duh) State an objectively identified hypocrisy relevant to the accusation
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1) Self righteous 10 paragraph rants about religion, politics, and other dumb shit.
An use of language/phrases that goes past dickish and right onto being in love with owning a thesaurus.
Truth) If you actually read my blog instead of (Sean) 'cherry-picking quotes' (Hannity),' you'd realize that this self-righteousness you speak of is actually a pragmatic sense of equality. Take this quote for instance, "I might scoff at the absurdity of religion, but I absolutely do not blame you in your practice to overcome the universal fear of nonexistence." When did it become self-righteous to form an opinion, but acknowledge the validity of the other side as well? As far as my vocabulary, there is an important difference between, "being in love with owning a thesaurus," and the truth. See my thesaurus is in my fucking head and I'm proud of my extensive vocabulary imparted from years of reading. When discussing in a philosophical or scientific context, large words are imperative because as I have stated previously, linguistics are frequently being misinterpreted. Therefore, complex (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) words are necessary to define as specific meaning as possible as to avoid further ambiguity. However, I mostly use large words as a platform for humor because it's funny to use words such as paradoxicist, which if you were at all well-read you'd realize this didn't come from a thesaurus, but was completely made-up by yours truly, then talk about your (Penny) fuck-pot erection.
Truth) If you actually read my blog instead of (Sean) 'cherry-picking quotes' (Hannity),' you'd realize that this self-righteousness you speak of is actually a pragmatic sense of equality. Take this quote for instance, "I might scoff at the absurdity of religion, but I absolutely do not blame you in your practice to overcome the universal fear of nonexistence." When did it become self-righteous to form an opinion, but acknowledge the validity of the other side as well? As far as my vocabulary, there is an important difference between, "being in love with owning a thesaurus," and the truth. See my thesaurus is in my fucking head and I'm proud of my extensive vocabulary imparted from years of reading. When discussing in a philosophical or scientific context, large words are imperative because as I have stated previously, linguistics are frequently being misinterpreted. Therefore, complex (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) words are necessary to define as specific meaning as possible as to avoid further ambiguity. However, I mostly use large words as a platform for humor because it's funny to use words such as paradoxicist, which if you were at all well-read you'd realize this didn't come from a thesaurus, but was completely made-up by yours truly, then talk about your (Penny) fuck-pot erection.
Duh) Penny you say I'm self-righteous, but look at this piece of hate (literally) - filled rhetoric taken from your blog. "I've decided that I really don't like most people."
"...and other dumb shit," you say. Is it dumb to touch on the very nature of reality? Or, is it dumb to post about such topics as Showerbation? I'm not going to answer this question because dumb is an arbitrary meaning humans attach to experience, but I will let my readers decide for themselves.
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2) I'm sure he'll knock the fact that I believe capitalism is a good thing.
Truth) Come on Penny, don't insult me, my readers AND your readers with your assumptive logical fallacies. Didn't Steven Segal ever teach you anything in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory starring Steven Segal when Steven Segal says, "Assumptions are the mother's of all fuck-ups? Since, according to your assumption, I never said this, I'm not going to specifically refute it.
Duh) Duh will come with Penny's attack on my profession
Truth) Come on Penny, don't insult me, my readers AND your readers with your assumptive logical fallacies. Didn't Steven Segal ever teach you anything in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory starring Steven Segal when Steven Segal says, "Assumptions are the mother's of all fuck-ups? Since, according to your assumption, I never said this, I'm not going to specifically refute it.
Duh) Duh will come with Penny's attack on my profession
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3) I happen to know what that shit for brains does for his own job...cleans up pollution caused by companies/governments/etc. You can tell tell that he thinks his shit doesn't stink because he's "helping the world" or some bullshit. Let me ask you this, when a company pollutes the groundwater somewhere and there is a public outcry what are the choices? By continually cleaning up after these messes your allowing the very companies you rail against to continue doing what they've done previously.
Truth) Anyone who is close to me knows that I continually stress that I am NOT an environmentalist, but work for a very business-oriented, profit-driven company that provides various environmental services. Do I have a sense of elitism over say investment bankers in terms of environmental altruism and human secularism? Absolutely. I know unequivocally that what I do has more of a direct positive effect and I do feel a sense of pride when making critical decisions that result in increasing amounts of diesel fuel being removed from the Chicago River.
Duh) Penny, your oversimplification about somehow being responsible in perpetuating poor management of production, which results in continued pollution is just hilarious. I'm not a fucking Sierra Club Dbag. I simply provide a service that is in-demand because of environmental law. Remember your love for capitalism? Good or bad, it is capitalism that allows these companies to continue their most cost-effective approach in reducing environmental impact, regardless of long-term detriment.
If you want to blame someone, blame legislatures for our lackadaisical environmental regulations. Guess what though Penny? Guess what happens when you over-regulate? See when you continue to penalize companies for environmental related issues, they lose profits and in poor economic times such as these, they go insolvent. (I know you have issues with big words... insolvent is an inability to pay debts, but guess what? I'm not going to act like you and claim expertise from the arm-chair. I know you are in financial services so you probably know all about insolvency).
So let's say the EPA continues to penalize an irresponsible mine for discharging heavy metals into a river. The mine can't afford to pay these fines, goes insolvent, becomes abandoned and turns into a Superfund site. A Superfund site is typically an area of severe pollution that has been abandoned and is no longer claimed by any party. I also clean these sites Penny. See this is where Environmental Pragmatism, NOT just Environmental(ISM) comes into play. To somehow claim that the services I offer lead to continued pollution is another example of your fetish for logical fallacies that you presumably Showerbate to in your screamingly loud manner.
via Penny---------------------------------
I could go on for days, but I need to do some work. (I'm working from home today biatches.. eat it! Actually it's not all it's cracked up to be. I'll probably do about 10 hrs of work, but only charge 7.5 because my productivity at home is inversely proportional to Penny's masturbatory decibel-level.
4) I don't dislike consumerism. However, my roommate is ready to go purchase a $40 winter hat from Urban Outfitters because it has a picture of a donkey fucking on it. A waste of money, not to mention totally classless.
Truth) Penny you don't dislike consumerism, but you just chose not to get involved? (And NICK, I told you about the fucking reindeer hat in confidence...dick..) Ok the $40 winter hat was actually kind of a response to Penny purchasing a $10 ugly sweater. I justified buying this hat with the following points:
Duh)
1) It makes much more sense for me to purchase an ugly (I love what most people view as ugly) $40 hat and wear it almost everyday this winter and perhaps next than for Penny to purchase a $10 sweater and only wear it once. Using his logic, our respective knit apparel is worth $10/use. Therefore, if I wear my hat 90 days this winter.
90 days x $10/use x 1 use/day = $900. $40 initial price - $900 Penny Logic = -$860. Urban
Outfitters is actually going to pay me $860 to wear a knit moose-humping hat this winter.
2) I consider myself a minimalist. I don't own a tv. I don't own a computer (I do have a work computer) I don't own a stereo.. dvd player.. In fact, the State Farm lady was pushing renter's insurance on me yesterday and I told her what my possessions were. She agreed it wasn't necessary. She's in sales and basically said she wasn't going to sell me insurance because I had nothing worth insuring. GREAT feeling. So I like to spend my money on travel, food and if I want to buy a perceived ugly hat for $40, well I damn well will and will have no guilt. Not only will it protect my head from the cold, but I'm also pumping money into our struggling economy.
I think I will buy it out of spite now. Please comment on whether I should buy it or not and remember, the more you say it's ugly and I shouldn't, the more I will want to buy it. Let the psychological war beginWhat are you pumping into our economy Penny?
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I want to state for the record that I love this guy:
Nick is a great roommate, we share many of the same views and get along quite well. Nick if you really did have a dog Jake (like most people do), even though I have no evidence to indicate this, I'm sure he is somewhere humping away in the spiritual dog-ether.
Fartpenny, on the other hand, well, you judge for yourself:
Penny I am done warring with you. Life is too short for Perez-Hilton type drama. I... (this is hard for me).... I... I... love you
Monday, December 8, 2008
Odds & Ends & Breakfast Chili & Self-Inflicted Sore Throats & Sabbath Tequila & Perpetual Snot Drip.... oh and the...
Perceived Genetic Predisposition within the Construct of Patterned Social Recognition
Que cryptic sequiturs...
Why is it taboo to allow snot that comes out your nose to enter your mouth, yet no one blinks an eye at the volumes of mucous that is swallowed through post-nasal drip? Just curious. Do you think the farmer's blow is underrated? If you do not utilize the farmer's blow, you are destroying the environment! In fact, there is a strong correlation between tissue use and your responsibility in causing 911, just like smoking grass supports terrorism. Free Cuervo must never be turned down, even on Sunday. You are not considered gay for getting a blue curacao margarita, Jen! You are not considered straight for getting a liter Bud heavy. Breakfast chili after a weekend of Sex Jello is never a good idea. Is it just me or is it that every time someone is sick it is "going around?" When is it not going around?
There was a veritable orgy of Fart's Spooge at the Cellar (synonymous w/ 1040 w. school coined by JM and Fart) this last weekend.
Que cryptic sequiturs...
Why is it taboo to allow snot that comes out your nose to enter your mouth, yet no one blinks an eye at the volumes of mucous that is swallowed through post-nasal drip? Just curious. Do you think the farmer's blow is underrated? If you do not utilize the farmer's blow, you are destroying the environment! In fact, there is a strong correlation between tissue use and your responsibility in causing 911, just like smoking grass supports terrorism. Free Cuervo must never be turned down, even on Sunday. You are not considered gay for getting a blue curacao margarita, Jen! You are not considered straight for getting a liter Bud heavy. Breakfast chili after a weekend of Sex Jello is never a good idea. Is it just me or is it that every time someone is sick it is "going around?" When is it not going around?
There was a veritable orgy of Fart's Spooge at the Cellar (synonymous w/ 1040 w. school coined by JM and Fart) this last weekend.
via Fartpennies (arguably worst blog in blogosphere)
Much to the chagrin of Fart, I suggested that we have a monthly Sex Jello social gathering. Not that anyone can even think of consuming any more Bill Cosby's, but why not create a little tradition amongst friends? He's still pissed off that every time we have guests I somehow manage to avoid the dank (cellar) until he can't stand the (probably mostly his anyway) filth and ends up cleaning solo. Just fucking great. I have another whiny ultra-liberal corrupt insurance selling roommate. That is what you do, right Fart? You sell insurance for expensive umbrellas? Nice job. Way to give back to society. Fart always goes on these nonsensical rants about the evils of mass consumerism, yet, I'm pretty sure insurance is considered to be within the financial services industry. Fart I think you’ve been consuming too much of your own (1:1 water:vodka) Spooge. Just great. If it’s not narcissistic hegeministic neocons, it’s ultra-liberal paradoxicists. Blatant hypocrisy aside, I’ve uncovered concrete evidence illustrating Fart’s hatred for old people. It’s NOT a slippery slope to conclude Fart also hates children, especially babies, and most likely Jews as well. He also masturbates absurdly loud and his favorite self-love, love-nest is the living room. If you don’t believe me ask him for yourself. And… the kicker…!!
The other night I was having a drink on the cellar couch when I got the urge to check the B-sphere. Unfortunately my computer was not within my critical radius (the area in which something is reachable without getting up), but oh, there was Fart’s computer. So unassuming me, whistling and drinking without an apparent care in the world, opens his computer and discovered it is pass protected. “Fart! (Fart is actually only Fart’s cyber name) What’s your password?” Fart was in the kitch preparing something presumably awful. “Jake!” Fart replied over the superfluous noise created by someone obviously trying to get attention. “What?!” Pre-innocence. “Jake. My password is Jake.” Post-innocence. Now the actual elapsed time is much greater than the time the following thought took to evolve, but this type of situation transcends the concept of physical time.
The moment of flattery that never really existed with Fart using my name as his computer password was shattered by the matter-of-factness tone of his voice when saying my name. Had he said, “Jake,” then laughed, it would have been awkward, but somewhat humorous as Fart tends to be. Horrifyingly, he just said it straight-faced and monotone as he continued to preoccupy himself with unnecessary clanging and presumably rub his Ted Kaczynski-esque fuck-pot erection against the counter to the thought of ‘Jake," (me).
Before absolute fright set in, I decided to input jake into the password box to see if he was messin around. He’s known to mess around. j… a… k… e… … *ACCESS DENIED* The sense of relief I felt can only be described as forgetting to buy milk for your cereal then discovering you have JUST enough. So my roomy wasn't insane after all. “Wait...” I told myself in a cynical tone. ‘J’… a… k… e… *ACCESS GRANTED* NOOOOOOOOO!!! Holy Jebus I’m living with a homosexual serial killer. (Like he is the homosexual, but not biased in whom he kills. Not I’m the homosexual and he only kills gay people. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Gay people. Not killing gay people. Ugh..nevermind). I began to hyperventilate and was suddenly ass-present.
Ass-present, v. The sudden physical awareness of any possible anal discomfort due to night sexcounters by a crazy roommate utilizing the likes of black-market anesthesia and Sex Jello to fulfill his debaucherous fantasies.
You know it was a pretty rough weekend. My roommate is as nutty as his blog is shitty. My girlfriend cares more about lycopene than me. It’s not even like she has a freakin prostate. Fart’s Spooge left a horrible taste in everyone’s mouth and I’m pretty sure despite my urging of monthly jello socials, I’m abstaining from them for the foreseeable future. I didn’t get any sleep yet again and the Cubs lost. *sigh* Well if they would have played I’m pretty sure they would have lost. Despite all this, it was actually a great weekend, it’s business as usual and per the norm, I’m all smiles.
Perceived Genetic Predisposition within the Construct of Patterned Social Recognition
I have become increasingly interested in the influence of pre-adolescent mental conditioning, specifically how consistent methods of parenting through multiple generations of the same family often manifest apparent inherited characteristics in offspring. My hypothesis is the majority of basic mental states, or deficiencies, are actually ingrained through certain techniques of socialization. What we view as genetic predisposition, in terms of mental state, through familial relation is actually the result of perpetuated parenting styles and not genetic make-up.
What is a genetic predisposition anyway? Basically it is any genetic (inherent) effect that influences our development, biochemical and physiological characteristics. The amazing aspect that the school of genetics concludes is that genetic predisposition can be changed by environmental factors. With that said, I'm halfway to corroborating my thesis already, but the next hurdle is determining strength of influence with respective, compounding generational parenting styles.
Basically it boils down to the nature v nurture quagmire, but if my claim proves true, the implications would be radical in our approach to overcome so-called mental limitations. I doubt I'll be applying for any grants in the hopes of conducting a decade long study, but I will continue to research the topic and hopefully come up with a circumstantial conclusion. I'm soliciting the help of my cousin who is currently studying for her Master's degree in alternative medicine (I think. Something like that). She is writing a paper on the components of western socialization, which she claims is the installation of one fear after another into children. I have not read her paper, but it's not only relevant to my study, it's also incredibly thought provoking. I'm hoping she will allow me to post excerpts or all of the paper upon completion.
From an anecdotal standpoint, I think it's important to acknowledge the malleability of our mind and body. We are not carved from stone.
In Water Writ
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
In light of the philosophical melodrama of most of my blog posts, I present a dumbed-down manifesto regarding piss and sex jello.
So I’m in my junior year of college (1st junior year that is) and have this crush on an acquaintance of a good friend. At the time, I considered the girl in question to be quite attractive with her smooth, slender body and soft, cute features. What she lacked in size she made up in party-ability though. The moral of liking this chick is perhaps the fine line between free-spirit and sloppy drunk. I could not for the life of me figure out why no one else was after this girl, who we will call Betty from here on out. I’m guessing it had something to do with:
1) Most people knew the true nature of Betty, which I had not yet determined, and
2) I was blinded by my underachieving drunken apathy
Betty and I never dated; in fact we barely even made-out a couple of times. I never confessed my feelings, but I’m pretty sure she knew my interest. Mostly we just drank with mutual friends until Betty invariably got to the point where she would:
A) Get kicked out of a bar for ethanol-induced epileptic-like dance moves that would result in a meeting with the floor
B) Punch a bouncer then the subsequent ejection
C) Walk home with some random guy then the subsequent ejaculation, and
D) Take me home and then the subsequent urino-flatulation
Betty was especially whorish toward me during a particular evening. We were all hanging out at our favorite Mexican Resto/Smoke-Free Dive Bar and of course drinking Boulevard and taking copious amounts of shots because not only were we drunks back then, but the bartenders knew us quite well and gave us ‘discounted rates.’ At this point in my relationship with Betty I was beginning to see her wild side and was losing interest in proportion to her drunken antics. Who am I to judge though? (=young and horny).
Betty and I were pretty fucked up as I was lassoing her steer-like dance movements. Just prior to the inevitable ejection, I managed to hog-tie her gaunt body (resulting from an eating disorder) and walk her home. I was pumped because there was NO WAY I wasn’t going to get laid… right? We’re walking home and as Betty swerves one way; I swerve the other way so if a cop sees us, through an optical illusion it will appear as if we are walking in a straight line (probably similar logic I used in my apparent attraction to Betty). So after two blocks Betty decides she needs to find an alley bathroom. With no regard for decency, she pigeon-toe squats and yanks up her slut-esque skirt revealing her panty-free outfit. Holy high-pressure urethral action… she’s going strong until the gravitational force overcomes her force of static friction against the brick wall and SPLASH!! Ass and skirt in a puddle of watered down piss. Classy.. My respect for her had long disappeared; my respect for myself was dwindling fast. I at least had to make sure she made it home safe though.
We got her home and she told me to lie on her bed. Hmm… sex with pee-butt or self-respect? Betty decided to bathe so I decided it might not be a bad idea to hold my self-respect hostage. As Betty laid her now fresh scented body into bed with me, she almost immediately small-spooned me and passed out. I rolled over on my back and put my hands behind my head as if to relieve some of the self-loathing that stemmed from ever bothering with this girl.
It didn’t even faze me that Betty’s ass was exposed as if telling my leg of the horror to come. As I’m consciously zoned-out, Betty’s ass suddenly (and not all that unexpectedly) blew its top in a raucous, disturbingly shrill, sustained fart. Then, as if my leg and olfactory senses hadn’t had enough, almost exactly in queue behind Betty’s noxious release, she started pissing all over my leg.
“Well Jake,” I told myself aloud, “live and learn buddy.” As I walked home in a thankful dejection, a now partially frozen right leg and a destroyed sex-drive, I realized this was where the rocks fell and I could only go up from here. I approached the dumpster in front of my apartment building and parted with my pants not because I was disgusted, but rather I was being reborn and parting with my old ways. I slowly walked into my building fully clothed and shoed save for my pants. With cold, naked legs, I held my head up high and entered the threshold a new man.
It’s disturbing, but probably funnier to think about all the times I’ve been pissed on. Like the time I woke up in my bed soaking wet being spooned by my muscle-bound, red-headed-ogre of a friend (who was fucking naked by the way..). The next day of his visit I told him under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is he to sleep in my bed. So I arise bright eyed Sunday morning to find the genitals of the red beast stairing deep into my eyes from the floor as that is where hepassed out wearing nothing, but MY winter coat, bordered by a shadow, only it wasn’t a shadow, it was…you guessed it… another god damn piss stain. It’s not a coincidence that this is the same friend who woke up in jail naked after his birthday. Then there was the time I passed out in the middle of my two friends (in my bed again!) and we woke up severely saturated. We reviewed each other’s boxer briefs and it was determined that they BOTH pissed. Then there was the time one of the same friends puked all over my Surficial Hydrology notes, which I continued to use the rest of the year after they dried. I couldn’t really get mad at him though because a while back I had decided to neatly break an estimated twenty beer bottles on his floor because, “he didn’t say I couldn’t.”
Why is this at all relevant? Well it’s not really, but the fact that my roommate decided to, and I quote, “Make 200 jello shots this Saturday,” possibly led to the retrieval of those respective lottery balls. On second thought it is extremely relevant. I invested in a new bed after finally giving up the Piss Bed (coined thanks to my friends overzealous consumption), which I was possibly conceived on. This amazing sleeping apparatus was not cheap!
My orgasmic pillow top bed has an accompanying magical comforter that has an overall symbiotic effect that can probably only be described by the comfort of an un-aborted fetus lying in a womb, or maybe a care-free sleeping kitten. (Did you know sometimes when I'm feeling down I google image search kittens. What?! I don't care what you think. THey're cute.)
I wake up every morning and carefully make her, talk to her in a comforting tone and reassure her that I’ll be home soon. If anyone ever pisses on her…. Oh man I will be so pissed.
Ok back to my roommate. We’ll call my roommate Fart Pennies to protect his anonymity. Fart Pennies’ jello shots are a legend on the north side of Chicago. His jello shots are also known as Fart’s Spooge, Bill Cosby’s, Drunk Snot, Fuck Butter and my personal favorite, Sex Jello. It’s rumored that anyone who consumes Fart Pennies’ Bill Cosby’s will get laid. Below is an image of my London roomate and current Chicago friend, that Jen-girl after she consumed several ounces of Fart's Spooge.
Unfortunately, statistical analyses have already been corrupted by biased methodologies. Regardless of the efficacy behind Fart’s Fuck Butter and sexual encounters, I’m confident that my little Ketchup Whore and I can put a check in the yes column.
So here’s to a piss-free north-side, good roommates, good friends, Fart’s Spooge and beautiful girls who have mashed tomato fetishes.
1) Most people knew the true nature of Betty, which I had not yet determined, and
2) I was blinded by my underachieving drunken apathy
Betty and I never dated; in fact we barely even made-out a couple of times. I never confessed my feelings, but I’m pretty sure she knew my interest. Mostly we just drank with mutual friends until Betty invariably got to the point where she would:
A) Get kicked out of a bar for ethanol-induced epileptic-like dance moves that would result in a meeting with the floor
B) Punch a bouncer then the subsequent ejection
C) Walk home with some random guy then the subsequent ejaculation, and
D) Take me home and then the subsequent urino-flatulation
Betty was especially whorish toward me during a particular evening. We were all hanging out at our favorite Mexican Resto/Smoke-Free Dive Bar and of course drinking Boulevard and taking copious amounts of shots because not only were we drunks back then, but the bartenders knew us quite well and gave us ‘discounted rates.’ At this point in my relationship with Betty I was beginning to see her wild side and was losing interest in proportion to her drunken antics. Who am I to judge though? (=young and horny).
Betty and I were pretty fucked up as I was lassoing her steer-like dance movements. Just prior to the inevitable ejection, I managed to hog-tie her gaunt body (resulting from an eating disorder) and walk her home. I was pumped because there was NO WAY I wasn’t going to get laid… right? We’re walking home and as Betty swerves one way; I swerve the other way so if a cop sees us, through an optical illusion it will appear as if we are walking in a straight line (probably similar logic I used in my apparent attraction to Betty). So after two blocks Betty decides she needs to find an alley bathroom. With no regard for decency, she pigeon-toe squats and yanks up her slut-esque skirt revealing her panty-free outfit. Holy high-pressure urethral action… she’s going strong until the gravitational force overcomes her force of static friction against the brick wall and SPLASH!! Ass and skirt in a puddle of watered down piss. Classy.. My respect for her had long disappeared; my respect for myself was dwindling fast. I at least had to make sure she made it home safe though.
We got her home and she told me to lie on her bed. Hmm… sex with pee-butt or self-respect? Betty decided to bathe so I decided it might not be a bad idea to hold my self-respect hostage. As Betty laid her now fresh scented body into bed with me, she almost immediately small-spooned me and passed out. I rolled over on my back and put my hands behind my head as if to relieve some of the self-loathing that stemmed from ever bothering with this girl.
It didn’t even faze me that Betty’s ass was exposed as if telling my leg of the horror to come. As I’m consciously zoned-out, Betty’s ass suddenly (and not all that unexpectedly) blew its top in a raucous, disturbingly shrill, sustained fart. Then, as if my leg and olfactory senses hadn’t had enough, almost exactly in queue behind Betty’s noxious release, she started pissing all over my leg.
“Well Jake,” I told myself aloud, “live and learn buddy.” As I walked home in a thankful dejection, a now partially frozen right leg and a destroyed sex-drive, I realized this was where the rocks fell and I could only go up from here. I approached the dumpster in front of my apartment building and parted with my pants not because I was disgusted, but rather I was being reborn and parting with my old ways. I slowly walked into my building fully clothed and shoed save for my pants. With cold, naked legs, I held my head up high and entered the threshold a new man.
It’s disturbing, but probably funnier to think about all the times I’ve been pissed on. Like the time I woke up in my bed soaking wet being spooned by my muscle-bound, red-headed-ogre of a friend (who was fucking naked by the way..). The next day of his visit I told him under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is he to sleep in my bed. So I arise bright eyed Sunday morning to find the genitals of the red beast stairing deep into my eyes from the floor as that is where hepassed out wearing nothing, but MY winter coat, bordered by a shadow, only it wasn’t a shadow, it was…you guessed it… another god damn piss stain. It’s not a coincidence that this is the same friend who woke up in jail naked after his birthday. Then there was the time I passed out in the middle of my two friends (in my bed again!) and we woke up severely saturated. We reviewed each other’s boxer briefs and it was determined that they BOTH pissed. Then there was the time one of the same friends puked all over my Surficial Hydrology notes, which I continued to use the rest of the year after they dried. I couldn’t really get mad at him though because a while back I had decided to neatly break an estimated twenty beer bottles on his floor because, “he didn’t say I couldn’t.”
Why is this at all relevant? Well it’s not really, but the fact that my roommate decided to, and I quote, “Make 200 jello shots this Saturday,” possibly led to the retrieval of those respective lottery balls. On second thought it is extremely relevant. I invested in a new bed after finally giving up the Piss Bed (coined thanks to my friends overzealous consumption), which I was possibly conceived on. This amazing sleeping apparatus was not cheap!
My orgasmic pillow top bed has an accompanying magical comforter that has an overall symbiotic effect that can probably only be described by the comfort of an un-aborted fetus lying in a womb, or maybe a care-free sleeping kitten. (Did you know sometimes when I'm feeling down I google image search kittens. What?! I don't care what you think. THey're cute.)
I wake up every morning and carefully make her, talk to her in a comforting tone and reassure her that I’ll be home soon. If anyone ever pisses on her…. Oh man I will be so pissed.
Ok back to my roommate. We’ll call my roommate Fart Pennies to protect his anonymity. Fart Pennies’ jello shots are a legend on the north side of Chicago. His jello shots are also known as Fart’s Spooge, Bill Cosby’s, Drunk Snot, Fuck Butter and my personal favorite, Sex Jello. It’s rumored that anyone who consumes Fart Pennies’ Bill Cosby’s will get laid. Below is an image of my London roomate and current Chicago friend, that Jen-girl after she consumed several ounces of Fart's Spooge.
Unfortunately, statistical analyses have already been corrupted by biased methodologies. Regardless of the efficacy behind Fart’s Fuck Butter and sexual encounters, I’m confident that my little Ketchup Whore and I can put a check in the yes column.
So here’s to a piss-free north-side, good roommates, good friends, Fart’s Spooge and beautiful girls who have mashed tomato fetishes.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Jake's Science Theatre 2000 - 1st Installment
If you look on your life at this moment through the eyes of the person you were in a former time, what happens? Do you feel intense gratification and astonishment for experience never thought possible; or, do you feel a foreboding sense of urgency and guilt? Inexplicable situations flash at us more than we will ever know; relentlessly traced by perception’s arrow, haunting us with a Freudian-like regret. This unpreventable aspect of time, which unites us with perceived failure and achievement, tragedy and miracle, exemplifies an often overlooked boundary to our lives. Perhaps a gentle repression is all that we seek.
-----------------------------
Hitchhiking is a common practice in the remote maritime regions of Acadia. More often than not, the seeker is elderly and alone in more respects than just their isolated presence on the road. They tend to haunt the pavement, only manifesting to individuals of belief. Not helping their cause is the illusory sense of floating along the road created by the transfer of energy from my tires to my now deceitful eyes. People in this land are generally sympathetic to the needs of these outsiders, but overlooking is still common practice and reflects more of a desire to avoid inconvenience rather than a lack of trust. Once you see the setting and individual for yourself, it is not a difficult task to divest these previously engrained defense mechanisms. As this came to be, I allowed myself to see through the ghost and identify the old man.
------------------------------
It has been cold and rainy the last few weeks, yet the highway continues to plague the old man who wears his red flannel and blue workpants regardless of weather conditions. Every time I pass him, his thumb comes out and I catch a glimpse of his grey hair and worn skin. As our relationship dictates, my volume remains unchanged, he continues dispassionately down the road. I have never actually seen him picked up, but with the frequency our path’s cross, I have to believe that not only do the locals help this guy out, but he is also one of those elusive characters every community seems to have. However, where this might benefit such a character by providing a sense of identity and subsequent charity, the old man is only unique to my perception. The reality is I see hitchhikers every day up here. It is a way of life for many locals who have no family and live completely off of government welfare – routine. Yet, where He is one of many, the old man is a singular embodiment of surrendering to life in order to reclaim a sense of freedom from perception.
----------------------------
As is typical of my post-workout mentality, I stepped out of the gym and cut through the depressed maritime fall with a climactic sense of clarity. Nothing much bothers me in the time adjacent to this feeling, which was perhaps the spark that prompted my meeting with the old man. Like so many times before, it started as blurred redness in the distance and, as it came into focus, I could make out the slight crowning of a head eclipsed by a disproportionately slouched back. You could say my judgment for the apparition increased with our closing distance; I could now attach a fictitious story to the elusive character. Like so many times before, as I approached, the man indicated he would like a ride, I indicated ignorance. Only this time, possibly attributed to my increased levels of dopamine, I slammed on the breaks, pulled over and waited. In my mirror I could see this hunched figure half attempting to run the stiffness out of his obviously worn body. Unfortunately, it was such an unnatural movement – obviously stemming from gratitude - that I could not dissuade a sense of superiority over him.
------------------------------
The old man climbed in the jeep and thanked me in his out-of-breath French. The contrast he introduced was frightening and did not just result from our physical inconsistencies. It certainly did not help how his sack of apples and three homemade cigarettes sticking out of his shirt pocket stacked up against my ipod, blackberry, running shoes and protein shake. However, it was the implied stories behind his sack of apples and say, my blackberry that presented the disconcerting differences. I felt ashamed, arrogant and gratuitous. He felt tired, relinquished, but thankful for the ride. “Je na parle pa France.” This extent of my second language indicated to the man that I would not understand him from this point forward. Without taking his glassy eyes off the windshield, he pointed in a general direction; I continued without further inquiry....
til next boring time
-----------------------------
Hitchhiking is a common practice in the remote maritime regions of Acadia. More often than not, the seeker is elderly and alone in more respects than just their isolated presence on the road. They tend to haunt the pavement, only manifesting to individuals of belief. Not helping their cause is the illusory sense of floating along the road created by the transfer of energy from my tires to my now deceitful eyes. People in this land are generally sympathetic to the needs of these outsiders, but overlooking is still common practice and reflects more of a desire to avoid inconvenience rather than a lack of trust. Once you see the setting and individual for yourself, it is not a difficult task to divest these previously engrained defense mechanisms. As this came to be, I allowed myself to see through the ghost and identify the old man.
------------------------------
It has been cold and rainy the last few weeks, yet the highway continues to plague the old man who wears his red flannel and blue workpants regardless of weather conditions. Every time I pass him, his thumb comes out and I catch a glimpse of his grey hair and worn skin. As our relationship dictates, my volume remains unchanged, he continues dispassionately down the road. I have never actually seen him picked up, but with the frequency our path’s cross, I have to believe that not only do the locals help this guy out, but he is also one of those elusive characters every community seems to have. However, where this might benefit such a character by providing a sense of identity and subsequent charity, the old man is only unique to my perception. The reality is I see hitchhikers every day up here. It is a way of life for many locals who have no family and live completely off of government welfare – routine. Yet, where He is one of many, the old man is a singular embodiment of surrendering to life in order to reclaim a sense of freedom from perception.
----------------------------
As is typical of my post-workout mentality, I stepped out of the gym and cut through the depressed maritime fall with a climactic sense of clarity. Nothing much bothers me in the time adjacent to this feeling, which was perhaps the spark that prompted my meeting with the old man. Like so many times before, it started as blurred redness in the distance and, as it came into focus, I could make out the slight crowning of a head eclipsed by a disproportionately slouched back. You could say my judgment for the apparition increased with our closing distance; I could now attach a fictitious story to the elusive character. Like so many times before, as I approached, the man indicated he would like a ride, I indicated ignorance. Only this time, possibly attributed to my increased levels of dopamine, I slammed on the breaks, pulled over and waited. In my mirror I could see this hunched figure half attempting to run the stiffness out of his obviously worn body. Unfortunately, it was such an unnatural movement – obviously stemming from gratitude - that I could not dissuade a sense of superiority over him.
------------------------------
The old man climbed in the jeep and thanked me in his out-of-breath French. The contrast he introduced was frightening and did not just result from our physical inconsistencies. It certainly did not help how his sack of apples and three homemade cigarettes sticking out of his shirt pocket stacked up against my ipod, blackberry, running shoes and protein shake. However, it was the implied stories behind his sack of apples and say, my blackberry that presented the disconcerting differences. I felt ashamed, arrogant and gratuitous. He felt tired, relinquished, but thankful for the ride. “Je na parle pa France.” This extent of my second language indicated to the man that I would not understand him from this point forward. Without taking his glassy eyes off the windshield, he pointed in a general direction; I continued without further inquiry....
til next boring time
Monday, November 17, 2008
Are you as smart as a the dumb kid?
...probably not.
Check out this article written by famed war correspondent Chris Hedges. Remember, just because you have some placard from an educational institution citing some academic achievement does not mean you are exempt for the Other America. In fact, disappointingly enough, I know many of you in this category.
Check out this article written by famed war correspondent Chris Hedges. Remember, just because you have some placard from an educational institution citing some academic achievement does not mean you are exempt for the Other America. In fact, disappointingly enough, I know many of you in this category.
The other America, which constitutes the majority, exists in a non-reality-based belief system. This America, dependent on skillfully manipulated images for information, has severed itself from the literate, print-based culture. It cannot differentiate between lies and truth.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Military Falsely Accuses Consultant of Treason
by Rod Bulger
The US Air Force has confirmed reports that one of its southern bases improperly detained a contractor during a routine visit. Military spokesperson, Captain Gina Steelfagina, reported that an environmental consultant contracted by the US Government to perform energy related audits at several of its military facilities in the southeast, was forcibly taken into custody and held without due process for minutes, perhaps even fifteen minutes. Capt. Steelfagina cited a lost camera in a highly classified area as the primary reason for the contractor’s detention. “The military admits full responsibility for the extraneous actions taken by some of its members, but this was a proportionate response in accordance with the Patriot Act,” cites Capt. Steelfagina. When asked to reference specific sections of the Patriot Act that allowed the military to respond in this regard, the Capt. stated, “There is only one section of the Patriot Act. You know, the section that grants us dick power, and I’m not talking Cheney.”
Initial attempts to contact the involved party were not successful. However, the Sun City News Team did receive a return call from the same number. Due to FCC restrictions, the conversation cannot be repeated. What we can tell you is that some of the words included: fecal, fascists, I’m, conspiracy, matter, horny, dude, lawsuit and monkey-shit. However, additional attempts were successful and our own Karen Blondielegsdon’tclose was granted an exclusive interview. Here is a preview:
Karen Blondielegsdon’tclose: Jacko Hart, an environmental consultant from a windy Midwest city, was detained, searched and held without as little as a phone call by the US Military for what he has described as twelve minutes of hell. We’re pleased to have with us today Mr. Hart. Mr. Hart, welcome.
Mr. Hart: Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.........please close your legs.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: Hehe, sorry they do that sometimes. Mr. Hart, I know that due to ongoing litigation, you have limits on what you can divulge, but can you describe the incident of November 13, 2008, as you saw it?
Mr. Hart: Well I was down here (Florida) to perform various functions of energy management on several military installations to make recommendations to the US Government in the hopes of cutting energy related costs. Upon entering the room in question - which can only be described as similar to those Hollywood military com’s rooms like that in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory starring Steven Segal - the personnel had to cease operations and turn on screen savers that I found a bit disjointed from known military protocol.
So it was during this routine walkthrough of one of the rather more sensitive rooms, my camera, which had been utilized to document areas of needed improvement, fell through a previously unidentified hole in my bag.
Upon exiting the com’s room and entering a less secure administration area, I discovered that my camera was no longer on my person. I decided to retrace my steps and made my way back to the armed guard securing the highly sensitive area. I politely told the guard who was brandishing an M-16 A2 service rifle and a leg-strapped M9 semi-automatic service pistol that I had inadvertently left my camera in the com’s room. Without acknowledging me, the guard spoke inaudibly into an unseen radio device resulting in electronic locks slamming shut on several doors, a red alarm starting to flash and brusquely escorted me into a windowless room with a six-inch steel door.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: This is the beginning of what Mr. Hart calls his personal hell. For the next five, perhaps even up to twelve minutes, Mr. Hart was detained without explanation.
Mr. Hart: The military claims they held me for five minutes before clarifying the situation, but I know how to tell time in a windowless cell without a watch or cell phone and it was at least twelve minutes. Twelve minutes I will never get back. Twelve minutes I won’t be able to watch mind-numbingly poor acting on extended basic cable or twelve minutes I often used to make love to my Turkey Template or twelve minutes to clear my bowels in the morning. Basically, the military is saying, “That’s fine. We don’t mind if Mr. Hart poops his pants tomorrow after his coffee.” Had it not been for the seven minute discrepancy, I would not have pursued legal recourse.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: Don’t you think the military acted within its rights to protect information that is ultimately used to serve your wellbeing?
Mr. Hart: Look, my checkered history with the military goes back a long way. Like the time they told me to lie then kicked me out for lying. They’re dicks. Let me clarify though. I initially joined the military for my intense respect I have for veterans; however, that doesn’t mean they aren’t dicks. Yet we have to ask ourselves, do we want pussies protecting us? Hell no! So keep on stickin it to the world, dicks, and keep us safe. Good on you guys. I must also say that it seems our dicks have been pumped up by testosterone-infused imperialism the last few years, so hopefully with a new sheriff in town, we can drain some of the blind power. Unfortunately, since our new sheriff is black, our dicks will probably be bigger and more powerful than ever.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: So you admit that the military is and has to be a big dick in order to protect us; yet, if they’re a dick to you, it is unacceptable?
Mr. Hart: No. This is a fight of principle; a war of attrition if you will. The military has lied to me personally on several occasions and all I want is the admission of the seven minute discrepancy.
--------------------------------------------------
To catch the full interview, tune in to our melodramatic news cast, full of plastic hair and bleached teeth, tonight at 7pm.
--------------------------------------------------
Since we initially brought you the story of Jacko Hart, the government contractor detained and falsely accused of treason by the US military, many events have transpired and it seems civilian life has returned to normal for Mr. Hart; at least for now. We caught up with Jacko as he lounged on one of the many white-sand, turquoise water beaches along the gulf coast.
Mr. Hart: As you can see life is pretty good at the moment.
*Crappy local news montage of Mr. Hart performing various activities with an overlain melodramatic voiceover*
Life has appeared to normalize for Mr. Hart since his time spent in what he refers to as his 12-minute-nightmare.
“See that woman right there?” Mr. Hart referring to the good looking middle-aged black woman lounging up the beach. “She totally came up to me after my run and started making conversation. “I’m pretty sure it’s a Stella and Her Groove Getting Back kind of thing, but frankly, I deserve a black chick.”
Since the incident, Mr. Hart has spent much of his time running and lounging on the beach. The military finally admitted to the ‘lost minutes’ of the detention and as reparations, allowed Mr. Hart to view the Blue Angels from a restricted area. When asked what he will do now:
“It has not been an easy recovery. The events of last week have led me to consume large amounts of Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir. As of now, I’m just trying to forget. I’ve traveled so much this year; I think it’s time for home. It’s paradise down here, but I miss my brisk, windy city.”
For this lonely soul, it appears cold has never looked so warm.
The US Air Force has confirmed reports that one of its southern bases improperly detained a contractor during a routine visit. Military spokesperson, Captain Gina Steelfagina, reported that an environmental consultant contracted by the US Government to perform energy related audits at several of its military facilities in the southeast, was forcibly taken into custody and held without due process for minutes, perhaps even fifteen minutes. Capt. Steelfagina cited a lost camera in a highly classified area as the primary reason for the contractor’s detention. “The military admits full responsibility for the extraneous actions taken by some of its members, but this was a proportionate response in accordance with the Patriot Act,” cites Capt. Steelfagina. When asked to reference specific sections of the Patriot Act that allowed the military to respond in this regard, the Capt. stated, “There is only one section of the Patriot Act. You know, the section that grants us dick power, and I’m not talking Cheney.”
Initial attempts to contact the involved party were not successful. However, the Sun City News Team did receive a return call from the same number. Due to FCC restrictions, the conversation cannot be repeated. What we can tell you is that some of the words included: fecal, fascists, I’m, conspiracy, matter, horny, dude, lawsuit and monkey-shit. However, additional attempts were successful and our own Karen Blondielegsdon’tclose was granted an exclusive interview. Here is a preview:
Karen Blondielegsdon’tclose: Jacko Hart, an environmental consultant from a windy Midwest city, was detained, searched and held without as little as a phone call by the US Military for what he has described as twelve minutes of hell. We’re pleased to have with us today Mr. Hart. Mr. Hart, welcome.
Mr. Hart: Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.........please close your legs.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: Hehe, sorry they do that sometimes. Mr. Hart, I know that due to ongoing litigation, you have limits on what you can divulge, but can you describe the incident of November 13, 2008, as you saw it?
Mr. Hart: Well I was down here (Florida) to perform various functions of energy management on several military installations to make recommendations to the US Government in the hopes of cutting energy related costs. Upon entering the room in question - which can only be described as similar to those Hollywood military com’s rooms like that in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory starring Steven Segal - the personnel had to cease operations and turn on screen savers that I found a bit disjointed from known military protocol.
So it was during this routine walkthrough of one of the rather more sensitive rooms, my camera, which had been utilized to document areas of needed improvement, fell through a previously unidentified hole in my bag.
Upon exiting the com’s room and entering a less secure administration area, I discovered that my camera was no longer on my person. I decided to retrace my steps and made my way back to the armed guard securing the highly sensitive area. I politely told the guard who was brandishing an M-16 A2 service rifle and a leg-strapped M9 semi-automatic service pistol that I had inadvertently left my camera in the com’s room. Without acknowledging me, the guard spoke inaudibly into an unseen radio device resulting in electronic locks slamming shut on several doors, a red alarm starting to flash and brusquely escorted me into a windowless room with a six-inch steel door.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: This is the beginning of what Mr. Hart calls his personal hell. For the next five, perhaps even up to twelve minutes, Mr. Hart was detained without explanation.
Mr. Hart: The military claims they held me for five minutes before clarifying the situation, but I know how to tell time in a windowless cell without a watch or cell phone and it was at least twelve minutes. Twelve minutes I will never get back. Twelve minutes I won’t be able to watch mind-numbingly poor acting on extended basic cable or twelve minutes I often used to make love to my Turkey Template or twelve minutes to clear my bowels in the morning. Basically, the military is saying, “That’s fine. We don’t mind if Mr. Hart poops his pants tomorrow after his coffee.” Had it not been for the seven minute discrepancy, I would not have pursued legal recourse.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: Don’t you think the military acted within its rights to protect information that is ultimately used to serve your wellbeing?
Mr. Hart: Look, my checkered history with the military goes back a long way. Like the time they told me to lie then kicked me out for lying. They’re dicks. Let me clarify though. I initially joined the military for my intense respect I have for veterans; however, that doesn’t mean they aren’t dicks. Yet we have to ask ourselves, do we want pussies protecting us? Hell no! So keep on stickin it to the world, dicks, and keep us safe. Good on you guys. I must also say that it seems our dicks have been pumped up by testosterone-infused imperialism the last few years, so hopefully with a new sheriff in town, we can drain some of the blind power. Unfortunately, since our new sheriff is black, our dicks will probably be bigger and more powerful than ever.
Ms. Blondielegsdon’tclose: So you admit that the military is and has to be a big dick in order to protect us; yet, if they’re a dick to you, it is unacceptable?
Mr. Hart: No. This is a fight of principle; a war of attrition if you will. The military has lied to me personally on several occasions and all I want is the admission of the seven minute discrepancy.
--------------------------------------------------
To catch the full interview, tune in to our melodramatic news cast, full of plastic hair and bleached teeth, tonight at 7pm.
--------------------------------------------------
Since we initially brought you the story of Jacko Hart, the government contractor detained and falsely accused of treason by the US military, many events have transpired and it seems civilian life has returned to normal for Mr. Hart; at least for now. We caught up with Jacko as he lounged on one of the many white-sand, turquoise water beaches along the gulf coast.
Mr. Hart: As you can see life is pretty good at the moment.
*Crappy local news montage of Mr. Hart performing various activities with an overlain melodramatic voiceover*
Life has appeared to normalize for Mr. Hart since his time spent in what he refers to as his 12-minute-nightmare.
“See that woman right there?” Mr. Hart referring to the good looking middle-aged black woman lounging up the beach. “She totally came up to me after my run and started making conversation. “I’m pretty sure it’s a Stella and Her Groove Getting Back kind of thing, but frankly, I deserve a black chick.”
Since the incident, Mr. Hart has spent much of his time running and lounging on the beach. The military finally admitted to the ‘lost minutes’ of the detention and as reparations, allowed Mr. Hart to view the Blue Angels from a restricted area. When asked what he will do now:
“It has not been an easy recovery. The events of last week have led me to consume large amounts of Cabernet Sauvignon and Pinot Noir. As of now, I’m just trying to forget. I’ve traveled so much this year; I think it’s time for home. It’s paradise down here, but I miss my brisk, windy city.”
For this lonely soul, it appears cold has never looked so warm.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Religion as Art
In my seemingly hopeless crusade to understand who I am, who you are and the countless emotions we evoke within one another, I have arrived at a concrete conclusion. Regardless of whether we are a random collection of molecules or the spawn of a Divine entity, what we perceive as love, contentment, perhaps moments of happiness through infatuation or a sense of hope during moments of despair, are what we all gravitate towards, what we all deserve and what we are all entitled to. That is why when Prop 8 in California passed, hope for our happiness, diluted in a present so saturated in bigotry and ignorance, dissolved that much more.
It's just so amazing to me that an organization that calls itself The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints would devote countless man hours and millions of dollars to prevent the happiness of a single people. The Mormons and other advocates of Prop 8 - under the guise of One Man, One Woman, cite unfounded studies and subjectively interpreted church doctrine to claim homosexual families will undermine cultural heritage and corrupt the foundation of our society. I don't care if you think homosexuality is written in our genetic code or the blasphemous choices heretics, no one has the right to vote against the happiness of anyone. I don't even care if homosexuality was proven to be indirectly detrimental to our culture - it won't, it can't - as long as the actions do not involve the direct harm of others, we should encourage circumstance to promote contentment of ALL peoples.
What drives such blatant hatred for one people? We have seen this so much in the past that it's almost becoming cliche, and what has been the end result of the majority of these situations at least in American history? Well, look at the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's and 70's. Um...we got a black prez! Guess the logical end to the Gay Rights Movement. Um..homosexual marriage. The root cause of this new form of racism is identical to the old form of racism: Fear (after all, fear is the path to the dark side). Fear of change, diversity, progression; arrogance and ego. The Mormons and the other pros of Prop 8 can be described as nothing other than ignorant, whiny children. I have heard countless anecdotes from my mother, father and sister - all elementary school teachers - telling their pupils the virtues of worrying only about thy self.
----------------------------------
One of my philosophical aides has been the injection of ink into the second layer of my skin, or dermis, resulting in now semi-permanent body art. People tend to make a bigger deal of tattoos than they actually are and the primary reason for my body art is a meditation of mortality. An acknowledgement that I am literally a rotting corpse and not special in any sense of the word. The following quote from Chuck Palahniuk sums up the feeling, "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile." Harboring the feeling of my universally generic nature not only creates a sense of urgency to experience, but helps me transcend my ego, value my happiness all that much more, and in turn, truly feel for the happiness of others.
My tattoos are for my own metaphysical liberation. People often ask me for the meaning behind presumably what they view as gaudy body art. I often attempted to muster through an explanation that diminished the strength of these reminders of my relatively imminent demise. Even if my descriptions are clear and concise, they are just words - arbitrary noises assigned to articulate the human experience. Linguistics are frequently misinterpreted, as are my explanations, which often make light of the infinite number of events that have resulted in my current philosophies. These stories I mutter at your request are never not subjectified. They are as much art as the art itself.
Religion can be held in the same light. In the countless world religions, faiths, creation stories, doctrines and laws, there lies intrinsic subjectivity. Bible verses and church sermons get lost in linguistic madness, individual views change to accompany newly discovered inter and intra-faith hypocrisies and metaphysical resignation often occurs at the onset of quality education.
Religion as art is the most compassionate and least paradoxical form of spiritual practice. Any other method runs the all too documented risk of bigotry stemming from ignorance and fear. Movements such as the overtly discriminatory Prop 8, cite Divine doctrine as justification for hatred. I urge all peoples of faith to worship in a metaphorical subtext and take doctrine with a grain of salt.
Look, I will be the first to admit that our shared human experience is far from easy, and if you lack the existential ability to find meaning in struggle, you often resort to faith. I might scoff at the absurdity of religion, but I absolutely do not blame you in your practice to overcome the universal fear of nonexistence. I have just one request: Religion as art.
It's just so amazing to me that an organization that calls itself The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints would devote countless man hours and millions of dollars to prevent the happiness of a single people. The Mormons and other advocates of Prop 8 - under the guise of One Man, One Woman, cite unfounded studies and subjectively interpreted church doctrine to claim homosexual families will undermine cultural heritage and corrupt the foundation of our society. I don't care if you think homosexuality is written in our genetic code or the blasphemous choices heretics, no one has the right to vote against the happiness of anyone. I don't even care if homosexuality was proven to be indirectly detrimental to our culture - it won't, it can't - as long as the actions do not involve the direct harm of others, we should encourage circumstance to promote contentment of ALL peoples.
I find it quite liberating that a twenty-six year old straight man from the land
of God and corn could become an advocate for gay rights. I know my sexuality
was questioned in the now infamous EasyCheese/Nipple-4 Scandal, but
that doesn't bother me and feel free to think what you want.
What drives such blatant hatred for one people? We have seen this so much in the past that it's almost becoming cliche, and what has been the end result of the majority of these situations at least in American history? Well, look at the Civil Rights Movement of the 60's and 70's. Um...we got a black prez! Guess the logical end to the Gay Rights Movement. Um..homosexual marriage. The root cause of this new form of racism is identical to the old form of racism: Fear (after all, fear is the path to the dark side). Fear of change, diversity, progression; arrogance and ego. The Mormons and the other pros of Prop 8 can be described as nothing other than ignorant, whiny children. I have heard countless anecdotes from my mother, father and sister - all elementary school teachers - telling their pupils the virtues of worrying only about thy self.
----------------------------------
One of my philosophical aides has been the injection of ink into the second layer of my skin, or dermis, resulting in now semi-permanent body art. People tend to make a bigger deal of tattoos than they actually are and the primary reason for my body art is a meditation of mortality. An acknowledgement that I am literally a rotting corpse and not special in any sense of the word. The following quote from Chuck Palahniuk sums up the feeling, "You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else, and we are all part of the same compost pile." Harboring the feeling of my universally generic nature not only creates a sense of urgency to experience, but helps me transcend my ego, value my happiness all that much more, and in turn, truly feel for the happiness of others.
My tattoos are for my own metaphysical liberation. People often ask me for the meaning behind presumably what they view as gaudy body art. I often attempted to muster through an explanation that diminished the strength of these reminders of my relatively imminent demise. Even if my descriptions are clear and concise, they are just words - arbitrary noises assigned to articulate the human experience. Linguistics are frequently misinterpreted, as are my explanations, which often make light of the infinite number of events that have resulted in my current philosophies. These stories I mutter at your request are never not subjectified. They are as much art as the art itself.
Religion can be held in the same light. In the countless world religions, faiths, creation stories, doctrines and laws, there lies intrinsic subjectivity. Bible verses and church sermons get lost in linguistic madness, individual views change to accompany newly discovered inter and intra-faith hypocrisies and metaphysical resignation often occurs at the onset of quality education.
Religion as art is the most compassionate and least paradoxical form of spiritual practice. Any other method runs the all too documented risk of bigotry stemming from ignorance and fear. Movements such as the overtly discriminatory Prop 8, cite Divine doctrine as justification for hatred. I urge all peoples of faith to worship in a metaphorical subtext and take doctrine with a grain of salt.
Look, I will be the first to admit that our shared human experience is far from easy, and if you lack the existential ability to find meaning in struggle, you often resort to faith. I might scoff at the absurdity of religion, but I absolutely do not blame you in your practice to overcome the universal fear of nonexistence. I have just one request: Religion as art.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Amidst all the skin and brain eating, we forgot about love
*FYI. i've been really busy lately and wrote this post a week ago,. but never really finished it....thought it should go up before tomorrow*
When I started writing to you, I really did not intend for my blog to be a platform for free-thinking, intelligent, creative (awesome, Pulitzer worthy..whatever) rants about politics and the dangers of religion. I honestly figured I'd just provide re-creations of my debaucherous encounters with syphillic biker chicks, but it is what it is and I write what's in my noggin. With that said, I would like to present you a brief social commentary influenced from navigating the underground networks. I've heard people say that they would rather have an old war veteran and a hockey mom in presidential office than two lawyers any day. *Expletive, expletive, really?! Expletive expletive perpetuation of ignorance.....EXPLETIVE!!*
There is a young woman who has been a friend of mine for the last decade. Her book-smarts have always intimidated me, but have driven me to reevaluate how I approach my own intelligence and educational motivation. As an aside, in high school she use to wear these tight black pants that would magnificently accentuate her ass - accompanied by these amazingly large eyes that are positioned in such a way as to personify beauty and stress an unadulterated kindness - that would often leave me asphyxiated in my pubescent fantasies. My lovely, generous friend has devoted her professional career to a nonprofit educational organization, soliciting funds to advance her cause and education in general. We were having a conscientious conversation - it's impossible not to with her - and she went on her logical rant of why it is so important to donate to educational causes more so than other worthy causes. Since we are both intelligent, rational and not of the journalistic credibility as say, World Net Daily, we were both under the implied understanding that she was not saying don't still adopt the starving African children. Her point was that promoting education is akin to fighting the disease (of humanity) - ignorance. Donating to starving children, the Red Cross or even cancer research, while still very important and worthy causes, is fighting a symptom and will not yield the same benefits over a long enough timeline.
Acceptance, Understanding, Equality ->
Indifference, Intolerance, Injustice ->
Acceptance, Understanding, Equality
I am in danger of becoming a radical in the fight against ignorance. No, I am NOT preaching of the benefits of becoming a far-leftwing sensitive nut job. What would I possibly do without my political incorrectness? I AM, however, speaking of making judgments based on reason. The pardoxical aspect of our intolerance is that we are actually born with an innate sense of Acceptance, Understanding and Equality.
If you think about it, we don’t really have a choice; our survival depends on our open mind. You will never see a consciously racist baby born from a mother and refuses to have anything to do with her based on her race. Our Indifference, Intolerance and Injustice is learned through our indoctrination into society, amongst other ideals and idiosyncrasies. This explains why we often become a mirror image of our parents, perpetuating the same tactics modeled for us from years of conditioning. Generally speaking, do you subscribe to the same politics as your parents; are you of the same faith; do you have the same biases; are you of analogous education?
Therein lies the fundamental problem in navigating to the end of the above paradigm. In order to overcome learned bias and perpetuated ignorance, which we all have regardless of relative societal influence, we are required to transcend our subjectivity through perspective. Circumstance often dictates the extent to which we achieve this objectivity, but ultimately it is your responsibility. That brings us to Ignorance vs. the Ignorant. You often hear the argument from tolerance saying, “Well it’s not their fault. They don’t know any better.” Well I’m here to say that at some point you have to blame the Ignorant and it’s time for some tough love.
*incomplete. missing information and motivation*
Level of education does not always correlate with intelligence or lack of stupidity; however, it does generally correlate to a greater understanding of logical arguments, tolerance and rational behavior. In most instances, level of education can be correlated to intelligence - in terms of critical thinking - using a logarithmic scale.
Education Level - Intelligence Level
High School Diploma.................1
Bachelor's Degree....................10
Master's Degree.....................100
Doctorate...............................1000
As reality indicates, there are always going to be aberrations to the rule and this model is no exception. I had someone tell me the more education they received, the more racist they became. Obviously we need to disregard certain subjects if the above model is to survive, as well as the educated idiot or the pretentious PhD that has become detrimentally single-minded. However, if I am to confidently pick a leader that is not only going to represent me in the world, but hold our collective future in their hand more so than any other person on earth, I want their intelligence level to be between 100-500. I guess you have to make up your own mind, but let's see if this comparison helps (via Pharyngula).
Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A.Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude
Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
VS
John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899
Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism
Yeah I guess you're right cliché dissenting redneck. I always thought Columbia University, Harvard and Syracuse College of Law were pretty suspect in their educational credibility. I too am scared of the impending amoral socialist state brought on by graduates of those institutions. Our only saviors are the war vet and hockey mom.
While conservative irrational fears include such nonsense as an impending fudge-packing Marxist-like state where abortions are so ubiquitous we actually play popgun with pregnant women and shoot each other with feti, liberal fears include the perpetuation of ignorance and intolerance, fear-mongered witch hunts, the Patriot Act, and thinking that can be summed up with this sign:
*incomplete, but the sign i wanted to post was something about how obama is a muslim terrorist who kills babies*
Just remember I love you all. (Well I love some of you, like many of you and just disregard the rest)
When I started writing to you, I really did not intend for my blog to be a platform for free-thinking, intelligent, creative (awesome, Pulitzer worthy..whatever) rants about politics and the dangers of religion. I honestly figured I'd just provide re-creations of my debaucherous encounters with syphillic biker chicks, but it is what it is and I write what's in my noggin. With that said, I would like to present you a brief social commentary influenced from navigating the underground networks. I've heard people say that they would rather have an old war veteran and a hockey mom in presidential office than two lawyers any day. *Expletive, expletive, really?! Expletive expletive perpetuation of ignorance.....EXPLETIVE!!*
There is a young woman who has been a friend of mine for the last decade. Her book-smarts have always intimidated me, but have driven me to reevaluate how I approach my own intelligence and educational motivation. As an aside, in high school she use to wear these tight black pants that would magnificently accentuate her ass - accompanied by these amazingly large eyes that are positioned in such a way as to personify beauty and stress an unadulterated kindness - that would often leave me asphyxiated in my pubescent fantasies. My lovely, generous friend has devoted her professional career to a nonprofit educational organization, soliciting funds to advance her cause and education in general. We were having a conscientious conversation - it's impossible not to with her - and she went on her logical rant of why it is so important to donate to educational causes more so than other worthy causes. Since we are both intelligent, rational and not of the journalistic credibility as say, World Net Daily, we were both under the implied understanding that she was not saying don't still adopt the starving African children. Her point was that promoting education is akin to fighting the disease (of humanity) - ignorance. Donating to starving children, the Red Cross or even cancer research, while still very important and worthy causes, is fighting a symptom and will not yield the same benefits over a long enough timeline.
Acceptance, Understanding, Equality ->
Indifference, Intolerance, Injustice ->
Acceptance, Understanding, Equality
I am in danger of becoming a radical in the fight against ignorance. No, I am NOT preaching of the benefits of becoming a far-leftwing sensitive nut job. What would I possibly do without my political incorrectness? I AM, however, speaking of making judgments based on reason. The pardoxical aspect of our intolerance is that we are actually born with an innate sense of Acceptance, Understanding and Equality.
If you think about it, we don’t really have a choice; our survival depends on our open mind. You will never see a consciously racist baby born from a mother and refuses to have anything to do with her based on her race. Our Indifference, Intolerance and Injustice is learned through our indoctrination into society, amongst other ideals and idiosyncrasies. This explains why we often become a mirror image of our parents, perpetuating the same tactics modeled for us from years of conditioning. Generally speaking, do you subscribe to the same politics as your parents; are you of the same faith; do you have the same biases; are you of analogous education?
Therein lies the fundamental problem in navigating to the end of the above paradigm. In order to overcome learned bias and perpetuated ignorance, which we all have regardless of relative societal influence, we are required to transcend our subjectivity through perspective. Circumstance often dictates the extent to which we achieve this objectivity, but ultimately it is your responsibility. That brings us to Ignorance vs. the Ignorant. You often hear the argument from tolerance saying, “Well it’s not their fault. They don’t know any better.” Well I’m here to say that at some point you have to blame the Ignorant and it’s time for some tough love.
*incomplete. missing information and motivation*
Level of education does not always correlate with intelligence or lack of stupidity; however, it does generally correlate to a greater understanding of logical arguments, tolerance and rational behavior. In most instances, level of education can be correlated to intelligence - in terms of critical thinking - using a logarithmic scale.
Education Level - Intelligence Level
High School Diploma.................1
Bachelor's Degree....................10
Master's Degree.....................100
Doctorate...............................1000
As reality indicates, there are always going to be aberrations to the rule and this model is no exception. I had someone tell me the more education they received, the more racist they became. Obviously we need to disregard certain subjects if the above model is to survive, as well as the educated idiot or the pretentious PhD that has become detrimentally single-minded. However, if I am to confidently pick a leader that is not only going to represent me in the world, but hold our collective future in their hand more so than any other person on earth, I want their intelligence level to be between 100-500. I guess you have to make up your own mind, but let's see if this comparison helps (via Pharyngula).
Barack Obama:
Columbia University - B.A.Political Science with a Specialization in International Relations.
Harvard - Juris Doctor (J.D.) Magna Cum Laude
Joseph Biden:
University of Delaware - B.A. in History and B.A. in Political Science.
Syracuse University College of Law - Juris Doctor (J.D.)
VS
John McCain:
United States Naval Academy - Class rank: 894 of 899
Sarah Palin:
Hawaii Pacific University - 1 semester
North Idaho College - 2 semesters - general study
University of Idaho - 2 semesters - journalism
Matanuska-Susitna College - 1 semester
University of Idaho - 3 semesters - B.A. in Journalism
Yeah I guess you're right cliché dissenting redneck. I always thought Columbia University, Harvard and Syracuse College of Law were pretty suspect in their educational credibility. I too am scared of the impending amoral socialist state brought on by graduates of those institutions. Our only saviors are the war vet and hockey mom.
While conservative irrational fears include such nonsense as an impending fudge-packing Marxist-like state where abortions are so ubiquitous we actually play popgun with pregnant women and shoot each other with feti, liberal fears include the perpetuation of ignorance and intolerance, fear-mongered witch hunts, the Patriot Act, and thinking that can be summed up with this sign:
*incomplete, but the sign i wanted to post was something about how obama is a muslim terrorist who kills babies*
Just remember I love you all. (Well I love some of you, like many of you and just disregard the rest)
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