For those of you who don't know, my roommate shot me an unprovoked request to start a blog war, so I find a quite ironic that when I sent the first attack, I have to hear (see on his shitty blog) his irrational bitching, out-of-context attacks and blatant yellow journalism.
Typically, I don't respond to such unqualified statements regardless of accusatory severity, but this is a special case. I'm relatively new to the blogosphere and I deem it vital to clear my name this one time to send a message to my readers that I will not back down to Ken Ham and Rush Limbaugh wannabes.
Last night my roommate raised a comment and a question for his alter ego, Fartpennies, who I will refer to as Penny from here on out - Canadian penny nonetheless undergoing severe inflation - since that is the relative monetary value of his thoughts. "Jake," Nick said probably because Penny is too much of a pussy to address me in person, "People read my blog because it's fun and makes them happy." The implication is implied. Sorry Penny, if you want a pattycake, cookycutter blog about arts and crafts or celebrities or other reality distracting supplements, go masturbate to BillboardJen or CupofJo or your own Vomit.
I write for myself and if you actually read my blog, you'd know I explicitly stated this in prior posts. I'm not sorry I write about deep, unpleasant topics (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) that touch on subject matter that most people want to avoid because they'd rather live in a sense of ignorance-is-bliss denial.
Penny followed his comment with the following question: "So you aren't going to respond?" The implication is implied. "Sorry [Penny]." "I'm not a fucking pussy Democrat afraid to throw a little heat. I'm a fucking registered Independent, which means I don't play by whatever rules you live by."
Last night my roommate raised a comment and a question for his alter ego, Fartpennies, who I will refer to as Penny from here on out - Canadian penny nonetheless undergoing severe inflation - since that is the relative monetary value of his thoughts. "Jake," Nick said probably because Penny is too much of a pussy to address me in person, "People read my blog because it's fun and makes them happy." The implication is implied. Sorry Penny, if you want a pattycake, cookycutter blog about arts and crafts or celebrities or other reality distracting supplements, go masturbate to BillboardJen or CupofJo or your own Vomit.
I write for myself and if you actually read my blog, you'd know I explicitly stated this in prior posts. I'm not sorry I write about deep, unpleasant topics (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) that touch on subject matter that most people want to avoid because they'd rather live in a sense of ignorance-is-bliss denial.
Penny followed his comment with the following question: "So you aren't going to respond?" The implication is implied. "Sorry [Penny]." "I'm not a fucking pussy Democrat afraid to throw a little heat. I'm a fucking registered Independent, which means I don't play by whatever rules you live by."
I'm going to arrange my rebuttal in three parts:
#)A verbatim accusation from Penny's blog
Truth) My refutation to the accusation
Duh) State an objectively identified hypocrisy relevant to the accusation
#)A verbatim accusation from Penny's blog
Truth) My refutation to the accusation
Duh) State an objectively identified hypocrisy relevant to the accusation
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1) Self righteous 10 paragraph rants about religion, politics, and other dumb shit.
An use of language/phrases that goes past dickish and right onto being in love with owning a thesaurus.
Truth) If you actually read my blog instead of (Sean) 'cherry-picking quotes' (Hannity),' you'd realize that this self-righteousness you speak of is actually a pragmatic sense of equality. Take this quote for instance, "I might scoff at the absurdity of religion, but I absolutely do not blame you in your practice to overcome the universal fear of nonexistence." When did it become self-righteous to form an opinion, but acknowledge the validity of the other side as well? As far as my vocabulary, there is an important difference between, "being in love with owning a thesaurus," and the truth. See my thesaurus is in my fucking head and I'm proud of my extensive vocabulary imparted from years of reading. When discussing in a philosophical or scientific context, large words are imperative because as I have stated previously, linguistics are frequently being misinterpreted. Therefore, complex (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) words are necessary to define as specific meaning as possible as to avoid further ambiguity. However, I mostly use large words as a platform for humor because it's funny to use words such as paradoxicist, which if you were at all well-read you'd realize this didn't come from a thesaurus, but was completely made-up by yours truly, then talk about your (Penny) fuck-pot erection.
Truth) If you actually read my blog instead of (Sean) 'cherry-picking quotes' (Hannity),' you'd realize that this self-righteousness you speak of is actually a pragmatic sense of equality. Take this quote for instance, "I might scoff at the absurdity of religion, but I absolutely do not blame you in your practice to overcome the universal fear of nonexistence." When did it become self-righteous to form an opinion, but acknowledge the validity of the other side as well? As far as my vocabulary, there is an important difference between, "being in love with owning a thesaurus," and the truth. See my thesaurus is in my fucking head and I'm proud of my extensive vocabulary imparted from years of reading. When discussing in a philosophical or scientific context, large words are imperative because as I have stated previously, linguistics are frequently being misinterpreted. Therefore, complex (only to certain Perez-loving mentalities) words are necessary to define as specific meaning as possible as to avoid further ambiguity. However, I mostly use large words as a platform for humor because it's funny to use words such as paradoxicist, which if you were at all well-read you'd realize this didn't come from a thesaurus, but was completely made-up by yours truly, then talk about your (Penny) fuck-pot erection.
Duh) Penny you say I'm self-righteous, but look at this piece of hate (literally) - filled rhetoric taken from your blog. "I've decided that I really don't like most people."
"...and other dumb shit," you say. Is it dumb to touch on the very nature of reality? Or, is it dumb to post about such topics as Showerbation? I'm not going to answer this question because dumb is an arbitrary meaning humans attach to experience, but I will let my readers decide for themselves.
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2) I'm sure he'll knock the fact that I believe capitalism is a good thing.
Truth) Come on Penny, don't insult me, my readers AND your readers with your assumptive logical fallacies. Didn't Steven Segal ever teach you anything in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory starring Steven Segal when Steven Segal says, "Assumptions are the mother's of all fuck-ups? Since, according to your assumption, I never said this, I'm not going to specifically refute it.
Duh) Duh will come with Penny's attack on my profession
Truth) Come on Penny, don't insult me, my readers AND your readers with your assumptive logical fallacies. Didn't Steven Segal ever teach you anything in Under Siege 2: Dark Territory starring Steven Segal when Steven Segal says, "Assumptions are the mother's of all fuck-ups? Since, according to your assumption, I never said this, I'm not going to specifically refute it.
Duh) Duh will come with Penny's attack on my profession
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3) I happen to know what that shit for brains does for his own job...cleans up pollution caused by companies/governments/etc. You can tell tell that he thinks his shit doesn't stink because he's "helping the world" or some bullshit. Let me ask you this, when a company pollutes the groundwater somewhere and there is a public outcry what are the choices? By continually cleaning up after these messes your allowing the very companies you rail against to continue doing what they've done previously.
Truth) Anyone who is close to me knows that I continually stress that I am NOT an environmentalist, but work for a very business-oriented, profit-driven company that provides various environmental services. Do I have a sense of elitism over say investment bankers in terms of environmental altruism and human secularism? Absolutely. I know unequivocally that what I do has more of a direct positive effect and I do feel a sense of pride when making critical decisions that result in increasing amounts of diesel fuel being removed from the Chicago River.
Duh) Penny, your oversimplification about somehow being responsible in perpetuating poor management of production, which results in continued pollution is just hilarious. I'm not a fucking Sierra Club Dbag. I simply provide a service that is in-demand because of environmental law. Remember your love for capitalism? Good or bad, it is capitalism that allows these companies to continue their most cost-effective approach in reducing environmental impact, regardless of long-term detriment.
If you want to blame someone, blame legislatures for our lackadaisical environmental regulations. Guess what though Penny? Guess what happens when you over-regulate? See when you continue to penalize companies for environmental related issues, they lose profits and in poor economic times such as these, they go insolvent. (I know you have issues with big words... insolvent is an inability to pay debts, but guess what? I'm not going to act like you and claim expertise from the arm-chair. I know you are in financial services so you probably know all about insolvency).
So let's say the EPA continues to penalize an irresponsible mine for discharging heavy metals into a river. The mine can't afford to pay these fines, goes insolvent, becomes abandoned and turns into a Superfund site. A Superfund site is typically an area of severe pollution that has been abandoned and is no longer claimed by any party. I also clean these sites Penny. See this is where Environmental Pragmatism, NOT just Environmental(ISM) comes into play. To somehow claim that the services I offer lead to continued pollution is another example of your fetish for logical fallacies that you presumably Showerbate to in your screamingly loud manner.
via Penny---------------------------------
I could go on for days, but I need to do some work. (I'm working from home today biatches.. eat it! Actually it's not all it's cracked up to be. I'll probably do about 10 hrs of work, but only charge 7.5 because my productivity at home is inversely proportional to Penny's masturbatory decibel-level.
4) I don't dislike consumerism. However, my roommate is ready to go purchase a $40 winter hat from Urban Outfitters because it has a picture of a donkey fucking on it. A waste of money, not to mention totally classless.
Truth) Penny you don't dislike consumerism, but you just chose not to get involved? (And NICK, I told you about the fucking reindeer hat in confidence...dick..) Ok the $40 winter hat was actually kind of a response to Penny purchasing a $10 ugly sweater. I justified buying this hat with the following points:
Duh)
1) It makes much more sense for me to purchase an ugly (I love what most people view as ugly) $40 hat and wear it almost everyday this winter and perhaps next than for Penny to purchase a $10 sweater and only wear it once. Using his logic, our respective knit apparel is worth $10/use. Therefore, if I wear my hat 90 days this winter.
90 days x $10/use x 1 use/day = $900. $40 initial price - $900 Penny Logic = -$860. Urban
Outfitters is actually going to pay me $860 to wear a knit moose-humping hat this winter.
2) I consider myself a minimalist. I don't own a tv. I don't own a computer (I do have a work computer) I don't own a stereo.. dvd player.. In fact, the State Farm lady was pushing renter's insurance on me yesterday and I told her what my possessions were. She agreed it wasn't necessary. She's in sales and basically said she wasn't going to sell me insurance because I had nothing worth insuring. GREAT feeling. So I like to spend my money on travel, food and if I want to buy a perceived ugly hat for $40, well I damn well will and will have no guilt. Not only will it protect my head from the cold, but I'm also pumping money into our struggling economy.
I think I will buy it out of spite now. Please comment on whether I should buy it or not and remember, the more you say it's ugly and I shouldn't, the more I will want to buy it. Let the psychological war beginWhat are you pumping into our economy Penny?
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I want to state for the record that I love this guy:
Nick is a great roommate, we share many of the same views and get along quite well. Nick if you really did have a dog Jake (like most people do), even though I have no evidence to indicate this, I'm sure he is somewhere humping away in the spiritual dog-ether.
Fartpenny, on the other hand, well, you judge for yourself:
Penny I am done warring with you. Life is too short for Perez-Hilton type drama. I... (this is hard for me).... I... I... love you
