Que cryptic sequiturs...
Why is it taboo to allow snot that comes out your nose to enter your mouth, yet no one blinks an eye at the volumes of mucous that is swallowed through post-nasal drip? Just curious. Do you think the farmer's blow is underrated? If you do not utilize the farmer's blow, you are destroying the environment! In fact, there is a strong correlation between tissue use and your responsibility in causing 911, just like smoking grass supports terrorism. Free Cuervo must never be turned down, even on Sunday. You are not considered gay for getting a blue curacao margarita, Jen! You are not considered straight for getting a liter Bud heavy. Breakfast chili after a weekend of Sex Jello is never a good idea. Is it just me or is it that every time someone is sick it is "going around?" When is it not going around?
There was a veritable orgy of Fart's Spooge at the Cellar (synonymous w/ 1040 w. school coined by JM and Fart) this last weekend.
via Fartpennies (arguably worst blog in blogosphere)
Much to the chagrin of Fart, I suggested that we have a monthly Sex Jello social gathering. Not that anyone can even think of consuming any more Bill Cosby's, but why not create a little tradition amongst friends? He's still pissed off that every time we have guests I somehow manage to avoid the dank (cellar) until he can't stand the (probably mostly his anyway) filth and ends up cleaning solo. Just fucking great. I have another whiny ultra-liberal corrupt insurance selling roommate. That is what you do, right Fart? You sell insurance for expensive umbrellas? Nice job. Way to give back to society. Fart always goes on these nonsensical rants about the evils of mass consumerism, yet, I'm pretty sure insurance is considered to be within the financial services industry. Fart I think you’ve been consuming too much of your own (1:1 water:vodka) Spooge. Just great. If it’s not narcissistic hegeministic neocons, it’s ultra-liberal paradoxicists. Blatant hypocrisy aside, I’ve uncovered concrete evidence illustrating Fart’s hatred for old people. It’s NOT a slippery slope to conclude Fart also hates children, especially babies, and most likely Jews as well. He also masturbates absurdly loud and his favorite self-love, love-nest is the living room. If you don’t believe me ask him for yourself. And… the kicker…!!
The other night I was having a drink on the cellar couch when I got the urge to check the B-sphere. Unfortunately my computer was not within my critical radius (the area in which something is reachable without getting up), but oh, there was Fart’s computer. So unassuming me, whistling and drinking without an apparent care in the world, opens his computer and discovered it is pass protected. “Fart! (Fart is actually only Fart’s cyber name) What’s your password?” Fart was in the kitch preparing something presumably awful. “Jake!” Fart replied over the superfluous noise created by someone obviously trying to get attention. “What?!” Pre-innocence. “Jake. My password is Jake.” Post-innocence. Now the actual elapsed time is much greater than the time the following thought took to evolve, but this type of situation transcends the concept of physical time.
The moment of flattery that never really existed with Fart using my name as his computer password was shattered by the matter-of-factness tone of his voice when saying my name. Had he said, “Jake,” then laughed, it would have been awkward, but somewhat humorous as Fart tends to be. Horrifyingly, he just said it straight-faced and monotone as he continued to preoccupy himself with unnecessary clanging and presumably rub his Ted Kaczynski-esque fuck-pot erection against the counter to the thought of ‘Jake," (me).
Before absolute fright set in, I decided to input jake into the password box to see if he was messin around. He’s known to mess around. j… a… k… e… … *ACCESS DENIED* The sense of relief I felt can only be described as forgetting to buy milk for your cereal then discovering you have JUST enough. So my roomy wasn't insane after all. “Wait...” I told myself in a cynical tone. ‘J’… a… k… e… *ACCESS GRANTED* NOOOOOOOOO!!! Holy Jebus I’m living with a homosexual serial killer. (Like he is the homosexual, but not biased in whom he kills. Not I’m the homosexual and he only kills gay people. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Gay people. Not killing gay people. Ugh..nevermind). I began to hyperventilate and was suddenly ass-present.
Ass-present, v. The sudden physical awareness of any possible anal discomfort due to night sexcounters by a crazy roommate utilizing the likes of black-market anesthesia and Sex Jello to fulfill his debaucherous fantasies.
You know it was a pretty rough weekend. My roommate is as nutty as his blog is shitty. My girlfriend cares more about lycopene than me. It’s not even like she has a freakin prostate. Fart’s Spooge left a horrible taste in everyone’s mouth and I’m pretty sure despite my urging of monthly jello socials, I’m abstaining from them for the foreseeable future. I didn’t get any sleep yet again and the Cubs lost. *sigh* Well if they would have played I’m pretty sure they would have lost. Despite all this, it was actually a great weekend, it’s business as usual and per the norm, I’m all smiles.
Perceived Genetic Predisposition within the Construct of Patterned Social Recognition
I have become increasingly interested in the influence of pre-adolescent mental conditioning, specifically how consistent methods of parenting through multiple generations of the same family often manifest apparent inherited characteristics in offspring. My hypothesis is the majority of basic mental states, or deficiencies, are actually ingrained through certain techniques of socialization. What we view as genetic predisposition, in terms of mental state, through familial relation is actually the result of perpetuated parenting styles and not genetic make-up.
What is a genetic predisposition anyway? Basically it is any genetic (inherent) effect that influences our development, biochemical and physiological characteristics. The amazing aspect that the school of genetics concludes is that genetic predisposition can be changed by environmental factors. With that said, I'm halfway to corroborating my thesis already, but the next hurdle is determining strength of influence with respective, compounding generational parenting styles.
Basically it boils down to the nature v nurture quagmire, but if my claim proves true, the implications would be radical in our approach to overcome so-called mental limitations. I doubt I'll be applying for any grants in the hopes of conducting a decade long study, but I will continue to research the topic and hopefully come up with a circumstantial conclusion. I'm soliciting the help of my cousin who is currently studying for her Master's degree in alternative medicine (I think. Something like that). She is writing a paper on the components of western socialization, which she claims is the installation of one fear after another into children. I have not read her paper, but it's not only relevant to my study, it's also incredibly thought provoking. I'm hoping she will allow me to post excerpts or all of the paper upon completion.
From an anecdotal standpoint, I think it's important to acknowledge the malleability of our mind and body. We are not carved from stone.
In Water Writ
