Self-Titled is located in Blog Archive under New Project
Here lies altruism
RIP
By Laura Palmer
It took me a long time to digest your thoughts. I think because I value compassion, empathy, and altruism above most other things in life. I have lived the last 25 years of my life rooted in benevolence; constantly thinking in terms of the self-less acts for others. I sent a card to my grandma at 8 just because I was thinking of her. I frequently put change in the meter next to mine. I thank the pilot every time I get off the plane. I send 14 pieces of mail a month simply to tell others they matter.
Reading your words, three to seven times, cause me to question my motivations. Your examples, while valid, were bigger than me. I’m a terrible volunteer. In contrast to my constant need to put other people’s feelings ahead of my own (in part out of benevolence, in part out of fear of my own feelings, but we’ll address that later) I hate volunteering. And as I thought more about just why I hate volunteering, I came up with some of the same reasons you described. I completely agree that people volunteer for themselves. Katrina was horrific, the tsunami devastating, the earthquakes unreal, but no one helped because it was “the right thing to do.” You said that “compassion is a defensive trait to reduce the unpleasant feeling of empathy; compassion being a mental awareness of suffering.” I agree with you here, but to take it one step further…Compassion is compare + passion and I think that it’s not just empathy, it’s the I-have-it-better-than-you feeling. (which might be what you were implying by empathy.)
“The compassion she eventually felt came from and is a defense of the same feeling: guilt. That’s right; I’m claiming all (or most) volunteer work is a result of the often unconscious self-serving need to diminish guilt. Is this bad? This can be debated, but it at the very least drives good causes.”
Maybe you’re right here. Maybe all good deeds are based in guilt. But here is what struck me after reading your thoughts:
Is altruism dead?
1- Have we really become so cynical that we believe selfless acts of benevolence have ceased to exist or have they truly ceased to exist in reality?
2- Does is really matter if altruism is relevant as long as people are contributing to the betterment of others…in other words does motive matter if good comes out of it?
3- Where did the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” come from?
Because I’m already late with my response, I’ll leave you to ponder these three questions, perhaps we can come back to them when we’re fresh outta thoughts.
It took me a long time to digest your thoughts. I think because I value compassion, empathy, and altruism above most other things in life. I have lived the last 25 years of my life rooted in benevolence; constantly thinking in terms of the self-less acts for others. I sent a card to my grandma at 8 just because I was thinking of her. I frequently put change in the meter next to mine. I thank the pilot every time I get off the plane. I send 14 pieces of mail a month simply to tell others they matter.
Reading your words, three to seven times, cause me to question my motivations. Your examples, while valid, were bigger than me. I’m a terrible volunteer. In contrast to my constant need to put other people’s feelings ahead of my own (in part out of benevolence, in part out of fear of my own feelings, but we’ll address that later) I hate volunteering. And as I thought more about just why I hate volunteering, I came up with some of the same reasons you described. I completely agree that people volunteer for themselves. Katrina was horrific, the tsunami devastating, the earthquakes unreal, but no one helped because it was “the right thing to do.” You said that “compassion is a defensive trait to reduce the unpleasant feeling of empathy; compassion being a mental awareness of suffering.” I agree with you here, but to take it one step further…Compassion is compare + passion and I think that it’s not just empathy, it’s the I-have-it-better-than-you feeling. (which might be what you were implying by empathy.)
“The compassion she eventually felt came from and is a defense of the same feeling: guilt. That’s right; I’m claiming all (or most) volunteer work is a result of the often unconscious self-serving need to diminish guilt. Is this bad? This can be debated, but it at the very least drives good causes.”
Maybe you’re right here. Maybe all good deeds are based in guilt. But here is what struck me after reading your thoughts:
Is altruism dead?
1- Have we really become so cynical that we believe selfless acts of benevolence have ceased to exist or have they truly ceased to exist in reality?
2- Does is really matter if altruism is relevant as long as people are contributing to the betterment of others…in other words does motive matter if good comes out of it?
3- Where did the phrase “no good deed goes unpunished” come from?
Because I’m already late with my response, I’ll leave you to ponder these three questions, perhaps we can come back to them when we’re fresh outta thoughts.
