Self-Titled
Last night I was doing what I always do up here post-work, post-workout, post-dinner and post-shower; I was lying in bed with my computer sipping chamomile tea. Trying to come up with a thought this week, surfing the internet and trying not to get distracted by the hushed, yet raucous music in my ears, I thought of my travels and whether or not I could identify an intrinsic value that projected onto others through my experience. Of course the idea that traveling creates new perspective, strips ignorance and enhances and fosters a compassionate worldview is quite valid as seen through sociological observations, which I can corroborate through my own experience. Only speaking for myself, this result is detached from my actual motives that, for all intense and purposes, are much more self-serving than initially understood. All of my travel has been motivated by gaining personal experience or money. Don’t get me wrong, self-serving is not always negative and is a strong component of self-development. It did, however, start my philosophical wheels and resulted in three distinct questions placed here in order of evolution:
1) How can I incorporate more humanities into future travels?
2) Is the compassion that influenced the above question self-serving?
3) Is it possible to, and if so how can I, foster a non self-serving, sincere concern for the contentment of my friends? Or, is it possible to have broader depth in concern for the happiness of my friends than my own? Would I want this? Is this still an unconscious desire for a reciprocal karmic effect?
The first question is obvious in that the need for volunteers regardless of location is more ubiquitous than neo-cons on Fox News. The second question is more complex, but confident the answer is true compassion transcends ego and does not involve the self. However, if this true compassion does not come from the self, where does it come from? In short, I think it actually does derive from the self, is self-serving for the majority of us, but is capable of coming from outside the self. In honor of the timeless ‘post hoc ergo proctor hoc,’ it is my belief that compassion originates in this manner: experience (pain and pleasure) -> thought -> feeling (empathy) ->/guilt\ sub feeling (compassion) -> action. Using this paradigm, it is obvious that compassion originates deep within the self. What I did not include is that the feeling of empathy – which in this context is not synonymous with compassion, but is the mental projection of ‘putting your self in one’s shoes’ – always has an immediate negative, self-limiting effect. (DISCLAIMER: I do think there is a time and a place for empathy, can be positive and has the ability to aid in the development of the self, as well as a harmonious society).Using this logic, compassion is a defensive trait to reduce the unpleasant feeling of empathy; compassion being a mental awareness of suffering. Let’s look at a practical example.
Hurricane Katrina, the Volunteer and the Nihilist
I’m going down there to volunteer. Why? I want to help. Why do you want to help? Those people are suffering. What about their suffering makes you want to help?
I want to pay back to society. Why? I’ve been dealt a good hand and they haven’t. Why does that good hand influence you to help? (If you dissect the Volunteer’s last statement from a logical standpoint, you will notice that she implies at some point along the analysis there is something wrong about having a good hand vs. others with bad hands. This disconnect is guilt). The compassion she eventually felt came from and is a defense of the same feeling: guilt. That’s right; I’m claiming all (or most) volunteer work is a result of the often unconscious self-serving need to diminish guilt. Is this bad? This can be debated, but it at the very least drives good causes.
To answer question 2), at the basic unconscious level, compassion is self-serving. How the hell am I ever to be truly concerned with Laura’s (you for example) contentment from a non selfish platform? What motivates me to listen to her problems and actually hear what she is saying? Well I care about you, right? Where does that care come from?
If you trace it back far enough you will find it comes from guilt from empathy from our conditioned past. To rephrase question 3), is it possible to demonstrate an unfiltered, unadulterated compassion and concern for YOUR wellbeing that does not stem from my subconscious, but rather from a compassion that stems from nothing, but the present moment? Anticlimactically, no we can not. Despite how religious, spiritual or pure, we are still very much physical entities that are influenced by our blue print (genetics) and nature (experience). However, we are very much capable of doing the next best thing and that is simply recognizing the origins of our thought, urges and actions.
Psychological recognition is much easier said than done. In fact, I’m pretty sure it’s been a major hub for intellectual debate and study for thousands of years. With that in mind, the task is quite daunting and questionably worth the time. Live in the present as much as you can. Since this present moment is all there is and ever will be, understand that the past is nothing more than a biased view of the present and the future is an interpolation based on our skewed idea of history. Hone your mental abilities to disregard the past or in other words take mental thought out all together. When I’m listening to you I do my best to concentrate on the sound and inflection of the words, take conscious note of my surroundings, feel my breathing and just listen without bias (as much as possible). I may offer advice here and there, but that’s secondary to feeling what you have to say just for the sake of feeling. To not empathize with your situation, but to void every thought, memory, emotion out of my being and just listen; to create a blank template for you to confide in. As soon as all superficialities are stripped from thought – fostering an understanding for the temporary and fleeting nature of our form – we can learn to put the happiness of others before ourselves. It is said this will bring true happiness. With that in mind, try not to do it for yourself ;)
Is it possible to foster compassion for my friends that is not self serving? This is yet to be determined due to the complexities of the human consciousness. Can I create broader depth and meaning in terms of happiness and contentment for my friends? Absolutely.
