If you're thinking I'm talking about the political and religious right, you are more wrong than when God gave George W. Bush Divine directives on foreign policy in the middle east. You are more wrong than Pat Robertson attributing Hurricane Katrina with homosexuality. You are more wrong than the megalomaniacal god of the Old Testament. You are more wrong than the physiological effects of overdosing on fiber. You are more wrong than that Jen-girl who tried to make out with me during Schindler's List; more to do with Seinfeldian Theory than Freudian Theory. You are more wrong than the socio-evolutionary correlation between density of cranial hair and virility. The right I speak of is actually the creative hemisphere of my brain that has been suffocated for the last decade.
Whether or not the characteristics of the respective lobes are more dominate than the others is beside the point. The primary outlet for my creativity in the last ten years could be defined as: The momentous effect of allowing irrational thoughts to sabotage my life (resulting in a perpetual apathy that clouded everything until that culminating moment). For sake of clarity, the time before that moment will be referred to as Pre Moment Satisfaction (PMS), and the time after that moment will be referred to as Sudden Enlightenment Culminating in Satisfaction, or SECS.
Obviously PMS was not pleasant, but as soon as I experienced SECS, everything opened up. There wasn't a singular feeling of comfort knowing that everything was going to be ok, rather an understanding that the concept of O.K. only exists in my mind. There was only an ok if I wanted there to be an ok. There was no good nor bad until there was meaning attached to moment. Very existential, huh? Anyway, soon after the initial SECS moment, I began to experience SECS on a regular basis. The SECS started out slow at first, but soon I was experiencing SECS all the time. Ironically, most of the SECS was with myself, often times I had SECS with someone and once I even had sex, shit, I mean SECS, with multiple partners simultaneously! It is my belief that the majority of us has SECS at least once and the experience greatly varies for each person. Sometimes we go a long time without SECS, this period for me was known as PMS. PMS prevented my ability to foster any type of creativity in my life. Since that initial SECS, the cognitive pressure has been building up and looking for a release - a massive release, and a BLOGSPOT WAS CREATED!
I am not an artist of any type; I cannot read music and my brush stroke is more of a brush jab. The art I refer to is an ability to impart something completely unique - in form and order - to the universe for sake of nothing other than doing something different. That's what art is isn't it? Therein lies my fundamental problem with creativity and art. With a right brain that has sufficient stagnation for mosquito breeding and in a world of influence, is it possible to create something completely unique in form? Hasn't everything already been done? Remember the episode of the The Twighlight Zone with the tiny civilization that sprouts in the pitri dish; then done again by the Outer Limits; then done again with Lisa's lost tooth in The Simpsons; then done again in South Park with Cartman's fish tank, the semen and the brine shrimp. So let me rephrase, is it possible to create something completely unique in order? I'm confident I can take an idea from you, that guy in the corner and the satirist and come up with an originalish thought. Just remember, everything I create, rearrange, plagiarize - call it what you will - is a result of my interaction with you.
Everything I create is a testament to you. That's right, YOU. I came into this world, not with a blue print, but with a first draft. When the smoke cleared, I was the proud owner of 23 chromosomes from my mother and 23 chromosomes from my father. Used chromosomes to say the least. Here I was, this jelly-covered used car; not even a rough draft, but a first draft. Despite everything imparted on me by my parents; my alcoholism, abusive nature, affinity for dendraphila -- my dad is a perverted botanist -- I keep on stumbling on. I didn't realize it at the time, but there was another aspect to my mental development, you! Nature, experience, SECS, call it what you will, every interaction I have had with you, no matter how minute, has had an effect on my brain chemistry; just as I have had you. You are an integral in my equation; just as I am in yours. We are but pinballs bouncing in the night. Enough of the melodrama already. Articles of faith aside, we are all used cars. I don't want to be a used car anymore. I want something more than my analytical career. *Low, ominous voice**I want a blog.
Whether my cognition is analogous to a used car or not, there are parts of my mind that are eager for exploration and refinement. Jake why are you making this public though? Hell I dunno. Maybe my ego wants to impart something tangible on the universe. Maybe I have some strange preoccupation with the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) and want to be proactive. Maybe it's trendy. Whatever the reason, I've been looking for an outlet and for the time being this is it. A stream-of-consciousness platform to express my opinions and frustrations until the towel can stand up on its own.
Love and Logic
