HOW THE TEXAS GOP THINK BLOW J'S ARE DIRTY AND ARE ACTUALLY ALL CLOSET HOMOGAYS SO THEY WANT TO RUIN IT FOR THE REST OF US:
Let me state for the record that sex without sodomy (e.g. oral sex, anal sex, ear or nose sex, basically any non-genital to genital contact) is like fishing… sober. Sex without sodomy is like non-alcoholic beer. Sex without sodomy is like eating a black-bean burger. Sex without sodomy is like baked, not fried Buffalo wings. Actually sex without sodomy is like baked, not fried anything. Sex without sodomy is like being in Wrigley bleachers and not drinking Old Style. Sex without sodomy is like basing your worldview on ancient creation stories purple-monkey-dishwashered down from generation to generation.
The “platform” is outlined with ten main principles that are woven within more hypocrisies and naiveties than bullet points. “We believe in: the sanctity of human life, created in the image of God; having an educated population; a free enterprise society unencumbered by government interference or subsidies,” to quote a few.
I’m not quite sure how having an educated population equates to the abolishment of mandatory schooling for children and not having even a rudimentary understanding of scientific methodology and its inherent motivations – based on historical evidence, it’s not an effective practice to attribute all unknown phenomena to divine intervention.
Without government subsidies, not only would the private Texas farmer go out of business, but without regulation such as Sherman (Anti) Trust, we could all likely work for a handful of giant corporations in what would be the ultimate plutarchy. While at it, why don’t we remove subsidies from gasoline as this is government intervention? I have no problem riding my bike or paying more for gasoline if that means a paradigm shift to a more energy efficient and independent culture. However, it’s highly likely that if this happened, the Texas GOP would somehow use the unsubsidized, higher gas prices to blame the government in its predictable charlatanic fashion.
The points that really grab my attention though are 1) Strict adherence to the Declaration of Independence and U.S. and Texas Constitutions, and 10) Restoring American sovereignty and leadership, and we honor all of those that serve and protect our freedom with peace through strength.
It’s not an accident that strict adherence to the Declaration of Independence (DOI) – a document that has no legal standing – is mentioned before the U.S. Constitution. While the DOI is an honorable mission statement with respect to human rights, the only reason they hold it in such high regard is because it is their only connection – albeit erroneous – between the U.S. and their dogmatic ideology. First, the DOI refers to the “Divine Providence,” “Creator” and “Nature’s God,” all terms that reflect the majority of founders’ deistic views. Again, for the evidence-impaired, objective historical analysis tells us that most founders were at the most, deistic, which is the belief that a supreme being kick-started the universe, but has absolutely no interference therein. While some of the founders attended church as cultural status, a few of the more insignificant founders were Christians, but most were private agnostics and atheists while many were openly critical of theism.
Here are just a few quotes to corroborate my claim:
Thomas Jefferson:
“(the God of Moses is), of terrific character – cruel, vindictive, capricious and unust.”
“Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity.”
“Christianity is the most perverted system ever shone on man.”
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.”
Benjamin Franklin:
“Lighthouses are more useful than churches.”
James Madison:
“During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.
Let’s not forget the treaty with Tripoli drafted in 1796 by George Washington and signed by John Adams in 1797 that states, “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.”
Even if the term “Creator” was in some sense a literal interpretation, in no way does it specify a “Christian Creator.” In fact, I’d be willing to bet the writers of the DOI were referring to a monstrous extra-terrestrial ejaculation on what we now call Earth that created us in the well-known theory of Panspermia; a cosmic facial of universal proportions, if you will. In fact, the only reason the Texas GOP does not welcome Panspermia with open arms is because it’s considered sodomy – alien penis to planetary intercourse, not alien penis to alien vagina intercourse.
First, let me explain the Texas GOP’s closet gay infatuation with sodomy. It all began with a biblical reference to Sodom and Gomorrah in the book of Genesis and the story of Lot, an upstanding citizen who houses two angels – who have the appearance of men – to protect them against a mob of men. The mob of men want to “know” the two men in the house (i.e. rape them) and Lot in his compassion offers up his two virgin daughters instead, “bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes.” Eventually the mob is blinded and God, in his infinite wisdom and loving kindness, annihilates Sodom along with all innocent bystanders, in a rain of sulfur and fire. From this account, the Texas GOP does not want you to have oral or anal sex. Bummer.
Jude reiterates this account in the New Testament, “just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.” In other words, if you have anal, you’re going to burn, right? Wrong! The phrases in the English version of the bible that use the above terms, “sexual immorality” and “unnatural desire” were incorrect translations that should have read, “strange flesh.” Most biblical scholars believe the story of Sodom was not referring to consensual sex, but either rape or a desire to have sex, possibly with angels.
Let’s review: The Texas GOP is basing public policy on millenia-old, misinterpreted stories about a mob of men who wanted to rape angels. Do we really want to go back to this level of thinking? Or let me rephrase: Can we once and for all divest ourselves of this ignorance? Most people say, “Even though I am a Christian I’m not as radical as the Texas GOP.” Unfortunately, many of my friends and family, people who I love dearly, still think Jesus was born of a virgin. Instead of taking this indoctrination at face value, I have actually done some research and found that the English version of the bible translated “virgin” from the Greek word for virgin, “parthenos,” which was MISTRANSLATED from the Hebrew (first biblical language) word “almah,” meaning YOUNG WOMAN! Even if Jebus existed and divinity aside, he was born of a young woman according to the original version of the Bible.
The Texas GOP also states, “We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans.” Not to mention the over 50% divorce rate in the U.S., which I’m sure they’ll blame on gays; not to mention the reference to “…ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders,” which was completely and accurately refuted by what little evidence I provided in the above essayic ramblings; not to mention there is not one credible peer-reviewed study showing any evidence connecting the decline of the nuclear family and homosexuality: But we’re still on the gay issue?! I’m getting tired so I am only going to say this, countless studies in The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, and National Association of Social Workers illustrate that the vast majority of homosexual adults were raised by heterosexual parents and the vast majority of children raised by lesbian and gay parents eventually grow up to be heterosexual. Way to turn your kids gay, supposed straight Texas GOP representatives.
Let me finish by briefly touching on the concept of freedom, which is referenced in bullet point ten. I have two complaints about the people who preach about freedom – or lack thereof – due to government “overreach.”
1) These people preach, “Freedom! Freedom!” unless of course it contradicts their dogmatic, dark-age view of humanity.
2) These people – libertarians, Christian conservatives, etc – don’t understand nonlinear dynamics. They don’t understand that the freedom of an industry in a deregulated market is the oppression of those who get sick or die due to unethical waste disposal practices or work conditions. They don’t understand that the freedom for a multi-national conglomerate monopoly is the oppression of a small business start up as well as the oppression of a consumer due to price-fixing. They don’t understand how the freedom of insurance companies to drop customers to save money is the oppression of the sick who desperately need the health insurance they purchased. They don’t understand that you can’t have an omniscient and omnipotent (pronounced Omni – pÅtent) God and have freewill.
The “platform” is outlined with ten main principles that are woven within more hypocrisies and naiveties than bullet points. “We believe in: the sanctity of human life, created in the image of God; having an educated population; a free enterprise society unencumbered by government interference or subsidies,” to quote a few.
I’m not quite sure how having an educated population equates to the abolishment of mandatory schooling for children and not having even a rudimentary understanding of scientific methodology and its inherent motivations – based on historical evidence, it’s not an effective practice to attribute all unknown phenomena to divine intervention.
Without government subsidies, not only would the private Texas farmer go out of business, but without regulation such as Sherman (Anti) Trust, we could all likely work for a handful of giant corporations in what would be the ultimate plutarchy. While at it, why don’t we remove subsidies from gasoline as this is government intervention? I have no problem riding my bike or paying more for gasoline if that means a paradigm shift to a more energy efficient and independent culture. However, it’s highly likely that if this happened, the Texas GOP would somehow use the unsubsidized, higher gas prices to blame the government in its predictable charlatanic fashion.
The points that really grab my attention though are 1) Strict adherence to the Declaration of Independence and U.S. and Texas Constitutions, and 10) Restoring American sovereignty and leadership, and we honor all of those that serve and protect our freedom with peace through strength.
It’s not an accident that strict adherence to the Declaration of Independence (DOI) – a document that has no legal standing – is mentioned before the U.S. Constitution. While the DOI is an honorable mission statement with respect to human rights, the only reason they hold it in such high regard is because it is their only connection – albeit erroneous – between the U.S. and their dogmatic ideology. First, the DOI refers to the “Divine Providence,” “Creator” and “Nature’s God,” all terms that reflect the majority of founders’ deistic views. Again, for the evidence-impaired, objective historical analysis tells us that most founders were at the most, deistic, which is the belief that a supreme being kick-started the universe, but has absolutely no interference therein. While some of the founders attended church as cultural status, a few of the more insignificant founders were Christians, but most were private agnostics and atheists while many were openly critical of theism.
Here are just a few quotes to corroborate my claim:
Thomas Jefferson:
“(the God of Moses is), of terrific character – cruel, vindictive, capricious and unust.”
“Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity.”
“Christianity is the most perverted system ever shone on man.”
“Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.”
Benjamin Franklin:
“Lighthouses are more useful than churches.”
James Madison:
“During almost fifteen centuries has the legal establishment of Christianity been on trial. What has been its fruits? More or less, in all places, pride and indolence in clergy; ignorance and servility in the laity; in both, superstition, bigotry and persecution.
Let’s not forget the treaty with Tripoli drafted in 1796 by George Washington and signed by John Adams in 1797 that states, “As the Government of the United States of America is not, in any sense, founded on the Christian religion.”
Even if the term “Creator” was in some sense a literal interpretation, in no way does it specify a “Christian Creator.” In fact, I’d be willing to bet the writers of the DOI were referring to a monstrous extra-terrestrial ejaculation on what we now call Earth that created us in the well-known theory of Panspermia; a cosmic facial of universal proportions, if you will. In fact, the only reason the Texas GOP does not welcome Panspermia with open arms is because it’s considered sodomy – alien penis to planetary intercourse, not alien penis to alien vagina intercourse.
First, let me explain the Texas GOP’s closet gay infatuation with sodomy. It all began with a biblical reference to Sodom and Gomorrah in the book of Genesis and the story of Lot, an upstanding citizen who houses two angels – who have the appearance of men – to protect them against a mob of men. The mob of men want to “know” the two men in the house (i.e. rape them) and Lot in his compassion offers up his two virgin daughters instead, “bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes.” Eventually the mob is blinded and God, in his infinite wisdom and loving kindness, annihilates Sodom along with all innocent bystanders, in a rain of sulfur and fire. From this account, the Texas GOP does not want you to have oral or anal sex. Bummer.
Jude reiterates this account in the New Testament, “just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.” In other words, if you have anal, you’re going to burn, right? Wrong! The phrases in the English version of the bible that use the above terms, “sexual immorality” and “unnatural desire” were incorrect translations that should have read, “strange flesh.” Most biblical scholars believe the story of Sodom was not referring to consensual sex, but either rape or a desire to have sex, possibly with angels.
Let’s review: The Texas GOP is basing public policy on millenia-old, misinterpreted stories about a mob of men who wanted to rape angels. Do we really want to go back to this level of thinking? Or let me rephrase: Can we once and for all divest ourselves of this ignorance? Most people say, “Even though I am a Christian I’m not as radical as the Texas GOP.” Unfortunately, many of my friends and family, people who I love dearly, still think Jesus was born of a virgin. Instead of taking this indoctrination at face value, I have actually done some research and found that the English version of the bible translated “virgin” from the Greek word for virgin, “parthenos,” which was MISTRANSLATED from the Hebrew (first biblical language) word “almah,” meaning YOUNG WOMAN! Even if Jebus existed and divinity aside, he was born of a young woman according to the original version of the Bible.
The Texas GOP also states, “We believe that the practice of homosexuality tears at the fabric of society, contributes to the breakdown of the family unit, and leads to the spread of dangerous, communicable diseases. Homosexual behavior is contrary to the fundamental, unchanging truths that have been ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders, and shared by the majority of Texans.” Not to mention the over 50% divorce rate in the U.S., which I’m sure they’ll blame on gays; not to mention the reference to “…ordained by God, recognized by our country’s founders,” which was completely and accurately refuted by what little evidence I provided in the above essayic ramblings; not to mention there is not one credible peer-reviewed study showing any evidence connecting the decline of the nuclear family and homosexuality: But we’re still on the gay issue?! I’m getting tired so I am only going to say this, countless studies in The American Psychological Association, American Psychiatric Association, and National Association of Social Workers illustrate that the vast majority of homosexual adults were raised by heterosexual parents and the vast majority of children raised by lesbian and gay parents eventually grow up to be heterosexual. Way to turn your kids gay, supposed straight Texas GOP representatives.
Let me finish by briefly touching on the concept of freedom, which is referenced in bullet point ten. I have two complaints about the people who preach about freedom – or lack thereof – due to government “overreach.”
1) These people preach, “Freedom! Freedom!” unless of course it contradicts their dogmatic, dark-age view of humanity.
2) These people – libertarians, Christian conservatives, etc – don’t understand nonlinear dynamics. They don’t understand that the freedom of an industry in a deregulated market is the oppression of those who get sick or die due to unethical waste disposal practices or work conditions. They don’t understand that the freedom for a multi-national conglomerate monopoly is the oppression of a small business start up as well as the oppression of a consumer due to price-fixing. They don’t understand how the freedom of insurance companies to drop customers to save money is the oppression of the sick who desperately need the health insurance they purchased. They don’t understand that you can’t have an omniscient and omnipotent (pronounced Omni – pÅtent) God and have freewill.
The Texas GOP and their ilk are unable to comprehend how one person’s freedom is another person’s oppression; their platform is a throwback to an totalitarian dogmatic theocracy and a very slippery-slope to a modern day Inquisition.
