Things aren't great right now, relatively speaking of course. I mean things are far better than getting punched in the crotch or living in Haiti, but in my reality.... ho. hum. (Just as a quick aside, I found out there is an opportunity for me to go to Haiti and do some environmental work. More to come.) Here is a list of why things suck right now:
1) Coldest week of 2010.
2) Working outside during the coldest week of 2010.
3) Haven't worked out since Sunday since I have no energy due to working outside during the coldest week of 2010.
4) Feeling guilty that I use the coldest week of 2010 as an excuse to not get to the gym.
5) Suffering from PTSD. Post Traumatic Shave Disorder... I miss my beard and it misses me.
6) Ever since Sahar became an ENT Surgical PA, there has been a q-tip holocaust in our apartment. The other day it came to my attention that she used some q-tips and never told me. I don't even know who to trust anymore.
7) My 12-consecutive clean-sweeps ended yesterday. I was going to save the world with my paperless-poo's.
8) Obama continues to disappoint.. he's no worse than any other president that talked a big talk and didn't come through, except his talk was a giant talk and I believed him. Fool me once...
God I miss Bush.
Actually, in terms of PolitiFact's Obameter, which keeps track of the status of all of Obama's "hope-filled" campaign promises, we should reserve judgement. Regardless, there is something missing in Obama's persona. I want the fucking bold progressive leader we were promised, not a pussy-footing Ghandi. I hate to say this, but I wish he would adopt the Bush W. style of leadership and not care what anyone thinks, especially the minority party, regardless of how much of a stupid fucking moron he really is, which Obama is not. And frankly, I don't give a shit what he has to SAY at the State of the Union, we'll see what he DOES in Twenty-Dime.
9) Sahar saw one of those bookstore rolling ladders and said, "I wish I had one of those so I could be like Beauty and the Beast." Deductive reasoning: I'm the fucking beast.
10) I feel like I'm living with Bill Murray in Groundhog's Day. Not only is every day the same, but Sahar is just like Stu Price's wife in The Hangover. "Don't forget your fucking Rogaine!" she'll scream, "I can tell when you don't use it you bald shit dick." Or, "I'm not giving you another blow job until we get married." Which we all know is a trick because once a guy gets married fellatio relates inversely proportional to the amount of shows he has to watch on Lifetime or Bravo.
